Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Holiday Tattler


Good morning on this cold Tuesday.

Just a reminder that we are open Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week and closed on Thursday and Friday.

School starts next Monday in the regular schedule.

Calendars will go out today. Please read them.

This Fall, we sent out a questionnaire about parents' desires for the best possible communication. Most parents wanted a monthly calendar so I produced a colorful cute calendar with dates and explanations. Because of the nature of the business, I also decided to include a weekly newspaper when something big is going on. We make sure we tell every parent verbally that there is something big happening, what it is, and what they need to do and when. We post an axillary announcement board at the front of the school announcing the event for a week. We send a parent letter that goes out along with post cards that remind parents of upcoming events. And I do as many blog reminders as I can.

At Christmas, I even sent out a packet at the beginning of the month with everything parents needed to know on separate large type print. The week of the Christmas party, ten parents did not know that there was a Christmas party.

I am not sure I know what to do at this point. This month there will be two events: The pajama party on the 8th and our International Feast on the 15.

We know that parents are busy, but kids matter too, and their life at the school is important. So please read what is sent home. It's only the beginning of "reading for your child." Parents will find thirteen years of reading materials coming up fast, and when you don't know, your child suffers.

Pajama party on the 8th. NO Slippers.

More about the International Feast later.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Saturday's Something Else








National Geographic Pictures best pictures of the year:

Catching Up Friday's Tattler

We had a delightful day on Friday. A little breakfast, a nice trip to the Nutcracker. The children really enjoyed this and were the best behaved children in the house. I was so proud of them. We hope you like the pictures. The Nutcracker was more in line with child friendly this year, and the kids responded with those wonderful children's stares that make adults laugh. They were wide eyed and wide mouthed.

We returned to school for a nice lunch of homemade chicken soup, cheese on biscuits, and fresh fruit. There was not a crumb left. After an hour of recess, we came in and sang Santa in. He arrived at 3:00 and distributed a big bag of toys and then took off to his busy schedule ;-}

We announced the very best boy and girl - Scott and Jasmine who both had 15 points toward the Santa prize. We were very very proud to give them each a nice gift.

The party lasted only a little while and then we dispersed for the Christmas holiday.

We shall return on December 28.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tuesday's Thought

During the Christmas Season things pop into your mind that make a kind of mystical connection with the whole Christmas Story. In the past couple of hours, the whole idea of kindness has kind of swallowed me whole. This morning at precisely 6:00 a.m. ( precisely because she is NEVER late) my eldest daughter, Katy, arrived at my house for the 4th early morning time to help me bandage a stray cat who we found at school with a terrible injury. His rear paw had been "decuffed" and the flesh was down to the bone. As I hold the cat, she applies a complicated bandage she invented for the wound.

There are many people in the world who would ask, "Don't you have better things to do with the little time you two have?" The answer to that would be, "We have lots to do, and this is just one of those things. It's about kindness. Kindness to a cat is none the less kindness."

The keeping of animals teaches kindness. The ability of an adult to be kind to creatures smaller than self, less able to understand than we are able, and needy when we are not is a movement of spiritual side of the heart. When this kindness is demonstrated to the child, the child models the parent and becomes kind. Kindness often earns more than it costs to do.

As a child, kindness was not a thing I learned at home. There was little if any kindness applied toward the scapegoat child. I learned kindness from two beloved neighbors, Parky Doyle and Margaret Kyle who treated me with great kindness when there was little at home. My first grade teacher, Mrs. MacDonald, also showed me great kindness. For these women in my life, I am truly grateful.

Kindness is really an act of mercy. We don't use the word mercy much because it has a flavor of the "court" these days. But using the words interchangeably, we can quote Shakespeare and understand a little about kindness and mercy: "The quality of Mercy is not strained; it dropeth as a gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed; it blesses him who gives and him who takes."

And that is the message we want to give to our children. Kindness offers so much to so many. When we are kind to one student in front of other students, children learn how powerful an act of kindness is. When we are kind to parents, they learn, when we are kind to animals, children can actually model this behavior because they can be in charge of this kind of kindness.

We have had many little projects going on at school these days. I would call them "corporal works of mercy." It's an old term meaning it's a physical act of goodness which the children are involved in. One of those things is the Advent Box. Every year we have done the Advent Boxes, and never before has there been such an interest. One little child is so keen on getting one, she talks about it at home. Trouble is, this child is SO good all the time, that her quiet little goodness is often passed over - but not today. Today, her kindness to her friends and teachers will return a little box of kindness to her.

Do we teach children to choose works of kindness? Do we calculate kindness and apply it to some things and not others? Do we keep back kindness because it might not benefit someone in our own family? Do we hold back kindness because "too much kindness is never a good thing." Those are questions that make kindness something it's not.

Kindness, it seems to me, should be a spontaneous offering from the heart. When it has to be scrutinized and weighed by the brain for possible gain, it becomes the Old Scrooge rather than the New Man, Scrooge.

Should kindness be acknowledged, or is kindness its own reward? Kindness is its own reward, but because of the nature of the human being, acknowledgment is an essential part of communication and community. When there is a failure to give praise to a child who is kind or even some adults - a failure of communication, a spiritual loneliness can fall upon a person and pull community apart.

As a child I was "Alphie Kohn-ed." I was allowed to be kind only to those people my parents deemed worthy. It was calculated and engineered. If I was kind to someone they didn't like, I was punished and belittled. It made me wonder about people and behavior from a very early age. It still does. As an adult, I am always sad when my efforts of kindness and affection are dismissed without a word. It takes me back to the icy hearts who reared me and makes me shiver. People who dismiss other people, to me, become the Old Scrooge.

The Christmas Season is filled with possibilities for kindness and right modeling for children. "Tis the Season" should be our reminder line. When we hear it, it should send us into right action because more than any other season of the year, Christmas is by its own nature a whole act of kindness and fulfillment of promise. Blessings always.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Monday's Tattler



Good morning!

A warmer day today. The kids will play outside today. Please remember to send hats and mittens on very cold days.

This is our last push to Christmas.

If you are participating in the Christmas gifts for the AIDs gentlemen, please bring your gifts by Wednesday. If you would like to participate, please take a heart from the tree in the front of the school.

Christmas gifts for the children are due now. Please bring your unwrapped gift to the kitchen after you have dropped off your child. Every child who will be at the party needs to have a gift. Please do not buy expensive name brand items. This is supposed to look as if it came from Santa's workshop.

The Garden School is a tuition based program. We operate on tuition only. Tuition payments are due at Christmas time when we are closed. Please post date a check and include it in your payment this week. Envelopes will be given to those who would like to mail in their payment.

Friday we will have a visit from Santa at 3:00. Children will carol for about twenty minutes and then Santa will come. A party will follow. Please plan to bring a treat to share.

Have a great week!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Friday's Tattler


It was quite a week. We all seemed to be tired. A few children went home sick. Jacob had surgery and did fine. It was a hectic week, however. Might have been the weather.

Some of the parents have asked about the Dove Tree giving to the AIDs guys. All the little gifts are on the tree up front. Yes, it's fine to donate a slightly used coat etc. I'm sure they can use it. Please look on the tree, and take a heart with a gift on it and return that heart with your gift. This is such a great Christmas opportunity to give a little to a stranger.

Next week as soon as possible, please bring your child's gift to the back door of the school. It needs to be unwrapped and in a bag so it is not seen by the children. Please have your child's name on this. If you are bringing other children to the party, EVERY child needs a gift. For neglectful parents, we will have a three pack of flutes that will go to all non gifted children ;-} The other option is a ream of paper and 164 crayons ;-}

On Friday, we will be going to the Nutcracker. Please have your child wear his regular school clothes and his red sweatshirt. Please make sure his name is in it. Please send your child in tie shoes on Friday. Digging slip ons out from under the Victory Theatre seats is a real pain. Leave time will be posted in the front of the school.

Party on Friday promptly at 3:00 P.M. All children MUST have an attending adult. At this time gifts will be given by Santa.

Blessings.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Tuesday's Thought


So when DO children finally decide that they will fit into society and do what is expected? That depends on what they are seeing in their models, or what they are gleaning from what they see.

Every human child develops a little differently from another and at different times. There are lots of components to making up a pattern of behavior. We have to consider the personalities of the parents, the environment, intelligence, exposure to things, the ability to experience, and the motivation to use new ideas, and many many more.

There are many obstacles to growing up for many children that parents don't see because they are repeating what they grew up with, and that's their pattern that is being handed down to their child. In my own background, I rejected many things my parents did in order not to bring the kind of chaos they loved into my own home because I felt it was destructive. Sometimes we have to examine our lives and reject or rebuild patterns for our own sake and the sake of our children.

In my own childhood there were few rules because my parents weren't home long enough to establish rules, so rules came and went like bullets, and if you got in the way, you were shot by one of these emerging rules, and punishment was a lot like impending death.

I liked the idea of few rules for my own family because I think children should think things through and come to their own conclusions about the world. Consequently, when something went wrong, some brief questions about what should have gone right was enough to curb further stupid behavior. Enough independence and freedom encourages children to think things through.

I was never a coddler. I'm not enamored of infants. I think infants should become three in about two weeks. The whole idea of infant care leaves me cold. I was lucky; my children were infants for about six months, and then they were more or less toddlers. At two, they were three. They expected one another to speak intelligently early, be potty trained by eighteen months, and start very early contributing to the work.

This independence contributed to exploration. Brendan tried to build a nuclear accelerator in his bedroom in high school. Molly was the only girl fire cadet in Warrick - Vanderburgh Counties. Katy trudged off to the Navy at barely eighteen. Anne announced to Angelo that she WOULD be cooking for him when she was seventeen. He said it would last a week, and it lasted seven years, and she still cooks for him when she visits EVV.

So where do all these tangents lead? I think the success rate for very young children doubles when we let go and let them. If a child's favorite toy is the parent, there is a problem of independence. A lack of independence will manifest itself in selfishness, stubbornness, and neglect of the world. When a child doesn't have to really do anything real for himself, he is negatively charged to be hostilely dependent on the parent, and that's where the poor behavior comes from.

It's a question of motivation or ability - that's where the parent's parenting skills come in. Is my child able to listen to me or not? Is my child motivated to listen to me or not? It's usually pretty clear. Listening to the parent's direction comes from respect. Respect often comes from fear. Sometimes the fear is simply a sense in the child that he or she has disappointed the parent. Most children want to please; it's in their natures; it's a goodness. When they don't listen or don't want to please, the parent needs to find out why and change his or her behavior to accommodate a better exchange.

We had a child at school who could strike and scream at his parents. It was OK behavior. When he did the same thing at school, the parents recognized his behavior, but they could not take the next step to stop it. When the child tied to kick me, and I grabbed his foot and sent him flying, he was so surprised that he quit acting out at school. Why couldn't his parents do this when he first showed this kind of behavior? Probably because hideous tantrums and screaming and kicking behaviors belonged to the parents as well who learned this from their own parents, who...

We had a child who refused to listen and invariably got most work assignments wrong, didn't know what we were doing and generally was lost most of the time. It translated into terrible behavior. When approaching the parents, the subject was changed almost immediately; teacher's sentences were intercepted, and both parents turned physically away from the conversation. Where did the child's behavior come from?

We had a child at school who had no concept of right or wrong. When dealing with the parents, they didn't either, and the child ended up in the special classroom for the socially disordered.

These are extreme cases, but the story is the same. It's a matter of early independence. Give a human being the independence to achieve good things in his life from the beginning, and he will prosper. The nature of the human being is be independent, to make appropriate choices, to achieve on his or her own.

Independence is brought on by doing. A three year old can and should dress himself and should be able to choose his own clothes. A three year old should use the bathroom alone. A three year old should bath himself within earshot of mom or dad and know when he is done. A three year old should be able to choose what on the plate he or she wants to eat and eat it at his or her own rate. There should be consequences and the three year old should know it. A three year old should be able to choose his or her own toys, play with them and put them away. A three year old should be able to begin making his or her bed and putting his or her clothes in the hamper.

Threes can set the table; help feed the house hold animals; help mom choose fruits and vegetables at the grocery store; run household errands like fetching a sweater off a bed, closing a door, finding a pair of glasses.

By six, a child should be able to do a lot more. By letting go and letting a child do, other things fall naturally into place. Nobody wants to be an ornament.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Monday's Tattler

Do you know who these guys are? If you do, you win a free cookie. Just tell a teacher and you'll get your prize.

It's a bright week already. Started with a great day! Kids made parent gifts today. It was a mess, but we are sure you will like the result!

We have school pictures on Wednesday, and then later in the afternoon, we will be decorating the Christmas tree. It's an all school event.

We were very good about bathroom playing today - except for two little girls!

We also created our 12 days of Christmas song which we will practice and sing for Santa on the eighteenth! This year the children were very sweet and the things that are on their twelve days are very cute including FIIIIVE brand new puppies!

Please remember to get your Christmas gift for your child in by next Monday. Please do NOT bring this into school with your child. Please bring it to the kitchen after you drop off your child.

And if you can, please take a heart from the tree at the front of the school for the AIDs gentlemen. On it you will find one of their little needs. Kindness to anyone is still kindness in the eyes of God. "I was naked and you clothed me."

Please stop by and visit all our new animals. We continue to do new things with the pet room. Takes a lot of time, but we think it's worth it. If you have fish you no longer want at home, bring them by. I tried to get some at the pet food store, but they were temporarily out of stock.

Blessings!

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Saturday's Newbee


Finally, a super-safe, incredibly comfortable booster seat is available for less than $15.00.

Harmony Juvenile introduces the LiteRider. This booster is incredibly lightweight and at $13.50, it's available for parents who can now have a booster in every car (rather than taking one in and out.)

The Harmony LiteRider is for kids 20-100 pounds. It exceeds the most stringent safety impact testing for ultimate safety and is exceptionally comfortable. There's a belt path that prevents children from sliding under the lap belt on impact.

The Harmony LiteRider is being sold at www.

Walmart.com and www.HarmonyJuvenile.com

Friday's Tattler


Lots going on at school this past week. Learning to think about "outcomes" and learning to think things through has been a kind of theme this past week. The children are all hyping for the Christmas season and their behavior needs a lot more thought. Getting them to think about this is not easy.

We had some winners for the Advent Boxes this week we were very pleased about. The Advent Box goes to the best behaved child in the school each day. The first winner was Trevor, second winner was Phoenix, third winner was Jasmin, and the fourth was Emily. We will announce Friday's winner on Monday.

We are trying new cookies every day. On Monday, we had a little number called Ginger Cream Cookies. Tuesday, Miss Molly made Thumbprint mint cookies on Wednesday, Mrs. St. Louis made cornkrispy treat wreaths. On Thursday, Miss Molly made Oatmeal Raisin cookies. On Friday, Miss Judy made Apple Cherry Crumb Bars - delicious.

We told the story of the Annunciation on Friday during Bible Stories, and on Tuesday, the children were able to intersect the navigation lines for Israel on the map. Miss Amy has been teaching a lot of modern Christmas songs, and this week we start the traditional carols.

Friday morning we rescued two chinchillas, a cage of six finches, some gerbils, and another rodent. We will be making room for these animals over the next few weeks. Children are welcomed to visit with a teacher.

It's busy, busy, and there is lots to do.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Teaching Thursday


One of the things that is a stumbling block to meal time is the ferocious screaming and talking and playing in the bathroom that children will do if not stopped. At the Garden School we are making every effort to Stop, Think, and Be careful in everything we do.

One of those things is attending our natural business in the bathroom quietly. We have talked and talked to the children about "sharing" in the bathroom because this lengthens the time that it takes to manage thirty five children taking care of their needs, sitting down, taking meal attendance, saying a quick prayer and finally eating.

When boys talk in the bathroom, their natural tendency is to push, to quarrel, and somebody gets hurt. When boys chatter in the bathroom, they will share stalls and somebody's feelings get hurt - not to mention the mess. When dealing with very young children, recess and hand washing effectively is a very hard thing to do well when a teacher is constantly trying to supervise the horseplay.

So since Thanksgiving, we have silenced the bathroom. Every child is reminded when he goes into the bathroom that there is no talking in the bathrooms. He is warned once, and then he will lose his medal. It is amazing how many children think the rules don't apply to them and have lost their medals this week for visiting, directing other children, fighting, and just not "thinking" when they go into the bathroom. This, of course, pulls a present off the Santa Prize string.

On the good side, when silence is maintained, the bathroom trip for all thirty five children is a little over five minutes. When the children are not quiet, the trip is closer to fifteen minutes. The best behaved children wait and wait, and it's simply not fair.

The question for teachers to ask is: Is it too difficult for children to do? Is the bathroom a place that teachers should allow for play? Is this a social zone that teachers are not aware of?

Collectively, Garden School teachers think that every child has the ability to do this. Perhaps the motivation is not there, but the ability certainly is. We teachers think the table is a better social zone than the bathroom. And collectively we think that hot food is better than a hot lunch that has cooled off.

The discipline of the guided child makes for a happier environment. Children come to the table quietly, thoughtfully and ready to eat when the free for all has been squashed.

In big school, children will need to know how to stand in line quietly, how to use the bathroom with other children with a fight free mentality. These are all good things to learn to do. We are proud of most of our children. Please encourage your child not to play in the bathroom at home and to remember to flush, wash his hands, face if necessary, and be quickly and quietly mindful of what he is doing in there !

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Wonderful Wednesday's New Cookie Recipes




The Children of the GS really enjoyed these cookies:

Ginger Creams:

1/3 cup Canola oil
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup molasses
1/2 cup water
2 cups whole grain flour
1 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Vanilla frosting

Mix shortening, sugar, egg, molasses and water. Blend in remaining ingredients except frosting.

Heat oven to 400 degrees.

Drop dough by teaspoons on a Pam sprayed cookie sheet. They will be very runny and spread out on your cookie sheet. Bake for about 8 minutes. Cool and frost with a dab of frosting.

Frosting: in a food processor, put 1 stick of butter, 1 box powdered sugar, vanilla, and if you're daring, one raw egg white. Frost cookies when cool.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Tuesday's Thought


As children grow up and move into their own and independent lives, the role of the parent often continues to be "source and strength" for the child. That ideal of parenthood continues, but it continues on new ground. Many fledged children feel the vitality and freedom to explore and develop the ideas they formed in their teen years that directly contradict their parents philosophies. In response, parents cringe either because it's such a direct conflict or parents see the eventual crush that will occur because they made those mistakes themselves.

As the years pass, the adult child continues to see his or her parents as the ollie ollie oxenfree of their own lives. Whether it's financial, domestic, or their ability to cope, the safety zone of the older parent continues to be home base.

I was told by one of my children that one day in her mid twenties she suddenly discovered that I was human and flawed. It made me laugh at the time, but it ultimately meant that my pedestal had crashed and she didn't need me anymore. Independence has its costs!

One of the things that I reflect on a lot in my older parent moments of reflection are the ever elusive "issues" we all have in life. Did I brush aside my parents' issues because I was too busy with my own life? Did I allow my parents to have issues that I was willing to discuss with them? One of the things I have learned is that older people's issues are often ignored because those issues not so gently gnaw at the very pillars of the pedestals we continue to suspend for our parents. If mom or dad has a problem, it's a lot easier to sweep it, and all that comes with it, under the carpet because dealing with a crumbling mother or father is way more than most young people want to handle at any given time.

But the truth of the matter is that older people do have issues, and their ability to talk about those problems, fears and decisions are real, and they need the same time and effort that they routinely dish out to their children.

The idea that mom or dad never made a mistake and can never make a mistake often comes from a fear that if mom or dad is really human and not super parent, the idea must follow that I might be more on my own than I thought. People make mistakes, they err, and they make unpopular decisions. The question is more one of character than anything else. The question for children to ask about these unpopular times is: Is my parent making a mistake because they have lost character and are giving into popular whim, or are they maintaining a pattern they have always maintained? Is it really a mistake, or is it a decision that I don't like.

One of the things rarely done about unpopular decisions is to ask the question lovingly, "Why did you do what you did, or what were you thinking that made you make that decision?" Too often the ire and impatience of the young takes over, and the questions why and what are backhanded and threatening if they do come out at all. No one likes to be put on the stand as witness to their own behavior. Differences of opinion are best met with love and affection than anger.

Strong people who rarely if ever give over their philosophies and ways of life to lesser things are often regarded as the family stumbling blocks rather than the family cornerstones. The difference between stumbling block and cornerstone is generosity. The generous loving parent who does not bend to whim is a cornerstone. The selfish, ingenuous, mean spirited person who suits him or herself is the stumbling block.

How often are older parents regarded as the stumbling block when they manifest all the traits of the cornerstone! In my own life, I've been regarded as the block of the moment dozens of times. Mostly because the generosity is received as a right rather than a gift, and expected rather than appreciated, and when the ax falls it always makes me the monster of the moment.

One of my unfailing issues is life. As a battered and abused child who nearly died in spontaneous abortion, my life philosophy puts life of the unborn, the ill and the elderly as precious and important. I believe that all life is the cement of a real civilization, and the idea that any one of the most vulnerable of our society would be discarded like garbage is so loathsome to me, I would risk alienation from anyone to defend my point of view.

Regarding the older adult parent as a whole person with a point of view that is often different from a more common newer point of view is an important leap for the younger thinking person. The framework of thought does not start now; it starts in youth, and is built upon many things that are no longer a part of our world. Many things are brought out of childhood as just and right and good, and that commitment to just and right and good will not be deterred by popular whim.

But all these things said, the truth is, as the generations grow old, the young parent of the day will be the older parent of tomorrow, and the battle will continue to wage. It will be asked of any generation, what did they accomplish, what did they do to make the world a better place for the next generation, and the answer should be - much.