The Garden School Tattler

It's been a very calm week. Several of the children whose behavior has been rough have suddenly disappeared from school. They have either left or they have been asked to leave. As a school we've never done that before. We've always taken the hard cases, and we've always done our best by them.

Taking the hard cases is hard on everyone. It teaches everyone patience, and it teaches compassion, but it ultimately gets in the way of teaching. The enormity of the teaching work load is enough to handle without having to do this in an unfriendly environment. When children refuse to learn as a habit, as a regular mode of conduct, they need more than a teaching environment. They need to be re-established in the home. Something obviously didn't work, and they need to go back into the home and begin again. But often the home is not suitable for teaching or for learning.

Learning is not something that should take coaxing. Learning should be a delight. When you see a child suspicious of learning, it's heartbreaking. When a child of four has emotional walls thick as Kenilworth Castle a teacher will struggle impart even the simplest concepts. And then, it's all undone at home. A child who learns love and affection at home is not going to come to school with a set of emotional castle walls, but a child who learns to struggle for his very emotional life at home is going to come to school with his crenels and merlins in fighting mode. No matter what, he will refuse to accept what the adult in charge has to say.

So where does the tough case go? Unfortunately, there are few places that will struggle through a difficult child simply because there is no parental support, and parental support is the most important tool teachers have.

In the years the Garden School has taken difficult children, our success rate is always based on the cooperation of the parent. When the parent refuses to support our teachers, there is no success at all.

One of the things we try to do is to meet every parent every day. This is an important part of school family interaction. That way we can keep up with problems kids might be having at home. Knowing that a child's dog died, or that grandma is visiting from another state, or that a child is moving or parents are splitting up will take a real toll on a child. It's so helpful when we know that a household has been upset by something, because it explains why a child might be having difficulty. This way, school and teachers can help a child through a hard time, and behavior for a time can be overlooked.

The longer I'm in this business, the more I realize that families and schools need to bond for the sake of the children. This is why parties and programs are so important. Recreational time is a time when people can get to know one another.

Blessings on everyone today.