Babies and More Babies

If you think an infant is a lot of work at night, try on this: (I got this from my daughter Katy.)

Mom:

10:30pm: I am finally falling asleep. Jasper senses my heavy breathing and begins his new nightly ritual of standing in the middle of the the living room and howling. He has never done this before this week. "Meow. Meow. Meow. (long pause--just enough time for me to fall back asleep) Meow. Meeeeow. Meeeeooooow." Me: "Here Jasper. Come on kitty. Come on. (pat pat pat on the bed). Come on Jasper. BAD JASPER! You do not bite mommy!"

11:15pm: I am asleep. I move one toe. All hell breaks loose.

12:25am: I am asleep again. I roll over onto my left side. I feel fur. I move back over to "my" side of MY bed. Jasper is very tired and he doesn't move from his spot. He is on his back, paws up, fangs exposed.

12:40am: I feel paws on my face. I am once again on my left side. Clearly Jasper has recently used his box because his paws smell like litter. Nice.

1:30am: A blade of grass gets unruly outside the window. All hell breaks loose again.

2:15am: I get up to use the bathroom. Jasper thinks it's time to get up for the day. Jasper decides to hide at the end of the bed, under the dust ruffle so that when I walk back to my side of the bed in the darkness, he can be even more stealthy when he decides to wrap his 19lb body around my leg. I can almost hear him laughing at the stupid human...why doesn't she get that I'm going to do this EVERY time?

4:00am: Jasper makes one of his many trips to my side of the bed. If I turn away from him, he walks to the side my face is on and just stands there until I pay attention to him and pet him. I pet him. He bites me.

5:15am: I have 30 minutes of sleep left before I have to get up. Jasper knows this. He decides to hunt birds from the night stand but instead of just watching the birds, he decides that as they fly away, he must jump under the blinds and make as much noise as possible. When I open one eye and give him a look, he tries to attack my face--because how dare I?

5:45am: I get up. I feed him. He isn't interested in eating....anything but my feet. As I walk to his room with a bowl of wet cat food, he pulls a Ting Tang and crosses in front of every step.

This is really what my nights are like. He is a very bad cat. Kirsten says God gave me the cat I deserve.

I love you.

Katy