Tuesday's Thought

Lately I've been playing Lexolous on Facebook. I find it a wonderful diversion. The game makes me think about things I only get to think about when I am writing - words. Lately, I've heard a lot of positives and negatives about the game that made me spend a little time thinking about game playing and what it means in development.

A game like Lexolous - scrabble - for an adult is a measure of self. Every time you face the board and are asked to deliver your best word with what you have to work with is a wonderful test of self. Some people like this and some don't. The question always begins in childhood about why this is a likable thing or a hated thing.

As a child, I always wanted to play games with my family. My parents were home maybe twice a week in the evening, and sometimes they would play games with us. It was my job to do the dishes by myself after dinner from the time I was five. So after I cleared the table, washed the dishes, scrubbed the pots and cleaned the counters, I would go in to find a game already started. When I asked to play, they always said, "We started already, maybe next time." I think as a result, I often played games with myself, so consequently, I like the challenge of a game because I really feel the test of self.

Testing self against self is only part of the game. Testing self against others is the other more daring part of a game.

When do children begin to experience real game playing? It depends upon maturity and the cognition of application of rules to life. Children can hear, but they can rarely apply what they hear to any problem and a game is often a problem, a strategy, and difficulty to solve. Watch a child put on a coat. You can tell, tell, tell, and show, show show, but until a child can apply what is said or shown to what he or she is doing, the child will not be able to put on a disheveled coat by himself.

This is problem solving and it amounts to that algebraic equation: "If a=b, and b=c then a=c." Until a child can understand this idea, he or she will be lost at many things.

I've tried to teach Chinese Checkers to the kids many times. Very few will grasp the concept of jumping one marble over another in a direct line. Most children will understand jump, but will jump the whole game board without application. This is because they can't see the value of a carefully played game. The game doesn't matter because they are neither testing self nor others.

Taking turns is also a concept of maturity. The very idea of a line, my turn your turn has to be taught to young children because most young children are egocentric, so the idea of your turn is an impossible bend. It's really quite funny to watch. You also see this in the very elderly - it's always their turn to speak, to reminiscence....

Teaching children to play games takes time. The time is in the maturity of growing up. The first step is in respect of the game pieces. When children stand back from a game taken out by adults, and watch, they are indicating the initial interest in the game. Children who grab without asking are not ready. Then it's a matter of listening and trying to learn the rules. Children who stop listening and just do their own thing are not ready to play a game. The next thing is turn. When children are ready to watch the next guy take his turn, they are ready to play.

Games should not be long, complicated, nor should one person always win. That was my lesson this week. I've won a lot of Lexolous games, and I realized this week that the whole idea of playing the game is that sometimes I win and sometimes I don't. It's the play with people you love that makes the game fun. I have also learned that if I play my best game and still lose, I still have played well, and that is what should matter to me.

It's a lot like life. It can't always be peachy. Games are like a little vignette of life. If you don't step into the game or into life, you can't win or lose - you're just a spectator and burying your talents in the backyard. These are the things I want to teach the children.

I want to assure them by their sixth year - give me a child before he is six and he's mine forever - that their contribution is important and that their involvement is crucial to the lives around them, so don't step back and let someone else - step forward and give it your best shot.

Games are an important lesson and well worth learning. The ability to play well, to win, to lose, to smile, to be confident, to be amused, to be happy to play is the mark of a well developed personality and this is what we should aim for in teaching our children to play as their primary educators.