Possibilities by Judy Lyden

What makes a restaurant great? A zoo great? A town great? The managers all see the endless possibilities and work to bring about those dreams until they are not dreams but realities. As I watch Newburgh get bigger and bigger, I remember it as a population of 500 and much of the downtown abandoned. But in the thirty eight years we have lived here, the population is probably 10,000, there is a cancer center, a hospital, a strip shopping center with a Walmart, the old part of town is vibrant, there is the largest concession of baseball in the country, and the school system is outstanding...because people brought the possibilities of their hearts and minds to Newburgh.

Dreaming is a great past time...I fully recommend it. But dreams should never stop with a passing thought. Dreams need to be worked on until they are reality.

I once thought it would be a wonderful life to own a bed and breakfast retreat way out in the country. Just think of all the possibilities... a hobby farm where people could come and live the life...gardening, breeding and raising animals, putting food by as an art, cooking, quilting, knitting in the winter, building things, walking and exploring nature, riding animals... beautiful occasions...the list just goes on and on. Wrong house, wrong location, wrong husband...so there had to be a compromise.

I once thought it would be fun to have a little boarding summer camp...same possibilities with more sports and more work! So the compromise was the Garden School.

When I wrote my first novel, I wrote it for college. My professor was very happy with the first chapter and told me that I had fulfilled my senior thesis obligation...five hundred pages later, I agreed. There were these absolutely wonderful characters...John of Gaunt, third son of Edward III (1350- 1399) and I had traced his life for fourteen years. I even got his household journals in Middle French and poured over them for weeks. Then I created Anne...the perpetual thorn in his side...now was I going to just abandon them on page 22? What WERE the possibilities? Thousands...so five hundred and 25 pages later...it was finished.

There are possibilities in every possible dimension of life. Look at your closet, at your refrigerator, your living room, your next occasion...the possibilities are astounding. As I walked by the river this p.m., I realized all the possibilities of having my very small front garden have the addition of carefully picked driftwood so that certain plants would be shaded when necessary, and have things to grow near, in and on. Not too much...just a piece at a time...can't wait to see the possibilities.

Raising children is no different. What are MY child's possibilities. What are his or her interests and how can that be guided toward the endless possibilities that mean productivity in their adult lives. My own son was interested in lots of things like stamp collecting, soccer, dangerous activities like swimming across the river...and then the love of his life took hold in high school...physics.

"Mom, I'm going to build a nuclear accelerator in my room."

"Go ahead."

"I need lots of copper."

"Go to the hardware store, but if you plug it in and my house explodes, I will kill you."

"Mom, it's perfectly safe."

It was extremely safe aside from the copper wires I've pulled out of the carpet for twenty years. But the possibilities were all there to offer him an opportunity to grow as an inventor, a developer, a man with ideas who was not afraid to try.

"I'm going to learn Arabic," said Anne at age seventeen after informing a restaurant owner that she would be cooking for him. He said he would give it a week, and she lasted seven years.

"Go ahead."

"I will need books."

"Get them."

And she did get the books and she does...know Arabic.

Providing opportunities to children begins with Legos, with glue, reams of paper, colored pencils, dolls, trucks, sand, fabric, sports equipment, lessons, books, and so many things we take for granted as everyday childhood supplies that find their way to the bottom of the toy box.

Remember, these ordinary supplies are new to children, and children need to have an abundance of them be able to explore ideas and possibilities that will make their dreams come true. So make a place for their supplies and encourage your child to play, create, invent, explore and develop.

And while you're at it, don't forget to ask questions, and give those special words of support.

"You did what?"

"I swam across the river and back."

"You idiot."