So...this morning Terry and I dragged ourselves upstairs to our bedroom of many years and dug out what has become a storehouse for kids moved away; stuffed toys I can't part with; computer collectibles; the books that don't fit anywhere else; travel equipment; furniture that is in need of mending; exercise and gym equipment; pictures and frames without walls...well you get the idea.
Actually it's been like that for twenty years, so today, when we started going through this amazing pile of junk, it was no wonder a car load went to M Teresa's and another pile was created for my grandson that was once his father's; and books were moved downstairs, pictures were stacked for later examination...and I started to think about what you save and pitch as the kids get older and move away.
I have terrible trouble throwing away old friends...those are stuffed toys that were once so treasured by one of the little "houseselves." If it has a face on it, I usually give it to someone else to give away, because I'm a nut job and can't do it myself. There is something really odd and beautiful and emotionally gripping about the worn face of a doll or stuffed toy. Personally, I have all my stuffed toys from my own childhood, and as I get older their faces bring me a lot of joy, soooo I keep them.
Today, I went through a very deep closet whose contents belonged to my son. I found his boyhood stamp collection; his boy scout camping gear, prizes, awards and regalia. I found a hundred books stacked and in boxes. I found funny old clothes he used to wear. I found pictures and other keepsakes and games that brought all those years back.
I found the college books that belonged to my eldest daughter and among those books were shoes and trinkets...more memories. And memories are sweet. Yes, they are gone now, and living their lives with their own families, and that's the way it's supposed to be.
I found a lot of the wooden dressed character dolls I made for the younger children...Molly and Anne, and I held them back to look at later. They are made of clothespins carefully cut and wired together and dressed complete with bloomers, aprons, hats, dresses, and all decorated with lace and beds.
Older kids are funny about that stuff...they don't want to pitch it themselves, but they sure don't want to drag it home. How often we think to save things for our children's children...and how often they don't want it, and maybe that's a good and independent thing. Things really don't last; they grow old like we do...
So now that the clutter is mostly cleaned out of the closets, it's time to create a new room. Luckily, it's a big spacious room with hardwood floors and a lot of dark cabinetry at one end. Going to paint it a dark cherry color with driftwood appointments...because that will give me something to do at the river...lots to do...lots to do...tables to be made...blinds out of slender washed branches...drawer pulls of washed wooden knots...lots to do...
It's important to let go of children so they can go live their lives...but at the same time, it's important to have your own life and fill it with all the things you wanted to do as a young mom and couldn't because all your time and energy needed to be spent on your children. It's important to do a job you like that has growth and also creates memories you can grow old with.
So for a couple of days, it's time to clean and paint and re-create. Not recreate, but re-create. No, I didn't go to Florida; I stayed home and worked, and you could say, poor Judy, but Judy has a real life working every day, so these things like rooms and collecting driftwood too often get pushed to the sidelines...except for today... when it was tons of fun.
This is hoping that everyone who reads this will enjoy every part of his or her life...and will in turn teach their children to do the same. Life doesn't end when your children walk out the door...that's just part of the great story you build every day. Enjoy every day...
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