Cowboys are Fun

Here is something Edith and I just laughed out loud at.

Cowboy's Guide to Life

What we both liked so much about it is its ability to be applied to our jobs and everyday life. A lot of these really hit home, create double meanings and bring on funny memories.

Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

He’s talking about consistency. If they know they can’t get over you, under you, around you, or through you, they’re just going to settle down and enjoy it.

Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

That’s for sure. Every time you think you think you’re flying high, there’s something or someone to remind you that the ground is still there and still rock hard.

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Every time 5/3 comes over looking especially nifty in their clean pressed suits, ties and knee high socks, I tell them, “Yes, you can do something for me. You can get us a grant." They usually leave very quickly after that. Funny about money. If you can't make it in your own basement, you won't be happy until you make it in someone else's.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

Tell that to the bankers. Ever pull out a stump? I did it once, and ended up making a pond. We also had a grandma who pulled stumps for a living. If you ever want to test being in shape, consider Linda. She is in her mid sixties and can still pull a stump by herself!

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Only if you’re frightened of flying insects.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

That’s what I keep telling the kids.

Meanness don't jest happen overnight.

That’s what I kept telling my mother.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads

This is what I’m going to start telling the kids.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

This is what Miss Molly needs to start telling the kids.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Ever seen a grudge? I think that’s our art project for the day. Draw a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Tell that to the Courier and Press.

Every path has a few puddles.

Puddles are neat. Does anyone know that the Emilio Regio program has raincoats and boots as part of their uniform code?

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

When you come to the Garden School, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Tell that to the Bishop, the refer him to unsaying, whispering, and wallowing.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t believe it. Come spend a day with us at school.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Especially me.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

MMMM.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Yep. See Mrs. St. Louis for instructions.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

The child’s red badge of courage for sure.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

A lot like crying.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

Tell that to Award Winning Editor Bruce Baumann.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Unless you’re in the sand box then it’s onward and downward. “Anyone speak Chinese?”

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

No, but you have to be at least six.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

Depends on whether Miss Judy has demanded your medal.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin.'

Won’t go there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

In my case, it would be my new raccoons. I have two, you know. Miss Vivie has introduced me to them. They live in her tree.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Yep.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Again, refer this to the Bishop. It might prove you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it in.

Especially Meistro. Anyone want to start a weekend cat sitting roster?

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Tried that once. Yoga came in real handy.

Never fry bacon naked.

Edith thinks this is especially funny. Will somebody ask her why?