I'm posting this because it's just fun and so like working with kids. It's about humor. We all need more humor in our lives. We all need to laugh more. Watch a child; he's laughing a lot. When the noise level gets really loud in school, the question is always, "Are they laughing or crying?" If they are laughing that's a good thing - open a door and let 'er rip.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the
form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here
are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has "never, ever", had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
S: Evidence removed.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
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