A Good Morning by Judy Lyden

It's the New Year, and everyone is making those ready to be broken resolutions that are always too big and always too heavy on the conscience. Here's a suggestion for yet another resolution that is so earth shattering it will change the life of your family home.

Years ago I wanted to be one of those mothers who popped out of bed close to dawn and had the world turning before my little guys got up. I wanted to be the kind of mom who had breakfast made, clothes ironed and ready to be worn, homemade lunches packed if that's what they wanted and even some fresh baked cookies to take to school to share.

Fat chance! I stayed up sewing and having alone time until far into the wee hours and getting up in the morning was like dragging Godzilla out of bed. Nasty McNasty slowly placed one body part on the floor until the whole person was painfully separated from the bed. The screeching witch moved down the stairs to the coffee pot and there I attached my morning until my kids dared to mention "A piece of bread, Mom?" Flying after them on my broomstick, I chased them out of the house anyway they could scamper.

It wasn't until my youngest was new born and my oldest was fourteen that I actually accomplished routinely rising before dawn. But even at that late hour, it really did change my life. Today, sleeping to six is a luxury I can easily pass by because rising early means my day belongs to me not the pirate of chaos.

But a good morning routine doesn't begin in the morning. It begins in the evening. It begins with a good bedtime routine for the children in the house. From the time a child has a bedtime, bedtime should be a quick business. This long drawn out read a dozen books, snack, get up fifty times to drink, potty and otherwise drive you crazy is a sucker's routine. And the worst is lying down with the child because he doesn't want to go to sleep alone. Nobody can go to sleep with you- that's a fact. The whole idea that we share bedtime with our children is downright amusing. There are two kinds of people - those who hate giving up the day, and those who can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring because today has been spent - it's done. We want to rear kids who are curious about tomorrow, and holding onto today by drawing out bedtime is like saying we are doubtful about tomorrow - not an encouraging moment.

Parents should look at bedtime as a routine like going to the toilet, eating a meal, getting dressed. There comes a point where the child naturally takes the routine in stride and handles most of it himself. Choosing a bedtime should correspond to the hours you want your child to sleep. Question: will your child nap during the day? If so, the length of hours your child needs to sleep at night is not so many.

Most children need to sleep ten to twelve hours a day. If your child rises at 7:00 a.m. then a good bedtime without a daytime nap is 8:00 p.m. But that doesn't mean starting the long process of bath, reading, snuggling, snack, toilet, teeth, prayers... it means all those things are accomplished before 8:00 p.m.

Now let's discuss Mom's bedtime. If the child is out by 8:10, and he will be without the stimulus of a doting parent's presence, then there is actual alone time and mommy time in the evening without staying up until Midnight or past. If parents get to bed by 10:30, they can get a good night's sleep and still be awake by 5:30 or 6:00. And if children rise at 7:00, there is a whole hour to an hour and a half of more mommy time.

Rising early and getting the day started gives the adult a whole other perspective on the world. It's like taking command of the day. Having a cup of coffee all by yourself in the morning and thinking about the things you want to think about without a crowd of grabby handed bandits is magnificent. For the working mom, taking a quiet bath alone, getting dressed without stress and chaos has got to be a moment from God.

For the domestic mom, popping something into the oven or onto the stove for the kids for breakfast means a certain kind of accomplishment. Ironing a blouse or a dress or just making sure all the socks are found can make a day brilliant. Having time in the morning to pay attention to the details of life, like homework left on the table, like ball practice reminders, like a gift that needs to go to school, like a reminder for the bus driver and the other thousand things we all need to accomplish in the morning before work and school.

And for the working domestic mom, it's got to mean order out of chaos. For me, an hour and a half of alone time meant I could bake, make, to take just about anything, and that meant a lot to my kids.

Starting the day with time is a luxury most of us resist, but it's within our grasp and it begins with bedtimes the night before. If nothing more, think about it. The hardest part is the first day. But after the first day, getting up early makes the 10:30 bedtime a welcomed thing.