Tuesday's Little Bit of Thought

Letting go is one of the most difficult things parents have to do. It begins with handing over your baby in the hospital to the nurse who is only going to .... And it strikes again the first time and then subsequent times we let someone care for our little person while we... And then again the first time our toddler goes off with a friend's child or goes to school or day care. As for me, I had panic attacks being on the other side of the door from Miss Molly when she was an infant. Letting go and trusting is a terribly difficult thing for some parents.

Every time parents leave their child at the Garden School, I should doubly realize the trust parents are offering to us as we take the children here and there, teach them this or that and feed them many meals. It's an honor and a privilege to embrace that trust and come through for parents.

Today I am letting go of my daughter Anne who is moving to Chicago. Anne is my 23 year old baby, and I will miss her terribly. But every fledgling must fledge, and this is her time. Anne is an interesting young woman. She has a degree in Political Science and is fluent in French and hopes to be fluent in Arabic one day. She has her father's interest in the Middle East and has gone both the feminine and masculine way in bridging the gap between the two cultures. Anne has taught herself these languages the hard way. She has worked her way through high school and college by "cheffing" at Angelos in downtown EVV. Her picture was in December's issue of Evansville Living Magazine, although they misspelled her name. She is a fine young woman.

No matter how accomplished or worldly your child is, it is always hard to let go. Having Anne at home these years has been a real treat and a blessing to our family. It will be interesting to see what she accomplishes out in the bigger world.

Letting go reminds me of all the times in my children's childhood when I let go. I remember handing my second child, Katy, over to Mrs. Baxter as I ran out of the room and Katy ran after me. She told me later, "If I made it to the outside door before Mom, I can go home and I won't have to stay at school." I beat her.

I remember leaving Katy at the University of Dallas. We were all sad. Katy was lost and the struggle ahead at the Catholic Harvard was going to be fierce. She did fine and graduated with a degree in History.

I remember letting go of Katy to boot camp when she was 18. We had spent the day in Indy at the museum with the two younger children and when we got home, Katy's hair was cut short, her braces had been removed and she was packed and ready for a surprise leave the next day. I threw up. She did fine. Broke her ankle and kept on running.

The next time we let go was during that horrific snow storm when most of the US was shut down back in the early 90s. She drove through that snow storm to get to her first post in Staten Island.

Katy has left town and returned on several occasions for work. Each time it makes me sad. Now, she is happily living in EVV and doing a job she loves - yeah!

I remember sending Brendan off on a camping trip to Canada with the Scouts. He came back with blood poisoning, and shook it off with the usual bravado. Brendan was a whole other story. He once swam the Ohio from the banks of the river down in Newburgh just to see if he could. Daily letting go of him was more than letting go-- it was more of a wrenching.

I remember a voyage to the North Pole Brendan took as a submariner. I didn't get to talk to him for three months. When the Russian sub went down, I needed a big shoulder to cry on.

Molly was my third child, and you know what they say about #3! Letting go of her was probably the most difficult. I'm glad she is doing what she is doing - raising her children here in Newburgh. Molly took off to Texas 7/8 ths through high school. That was tough. She returned to graduate.

Letting go of the grandchildren was tough as well. But good things happen when people go to do the things that will make them grow. Letting go does not mean we don't care. It means we care so deeply that our little people get something new that is good and beneficial to the whole picture of life. We can't do it all by ourselves. We need one another to help us rear the very best people possible. Good people come from good situations.

I can assure you that the Garden School teachers are determined to make your child our first priority. Good starts mean children can grow and delvelop and add to their experiences in a safe and loving environment. A good example now will make their expectations higher and their life better later.

I'll get through today, and there will be more letting go as my children and grandchildren do the things in life they were meant to do. But it makes me reconsider what our parents have to do every day, and that's tough.