The Group Mentality by Judy Lyden

We hear a lot about individual education packages offered at the public schools for at risk children. We hear about special needs, gifted and talented, and no child left behind. And these are wonderful initiatives for children. Sometimes they are the thing that makes a troubled road straight again.

As an educator, my orientation is "group." In the early childhood years, the job is moving a child from "the only child on earth," which is the mind set for many young children, to "a group" mentality - and that's my job. Why?

The goal for the young child is to fit into a family, a class, a team, a choral group, a church group or play group and not only blend in, but be a substantial and necessary part of that group. We become incredible individuals because we have a strong platform of belonging. We have learned about being us by sharing, by communicating, by exchanging, through giving and taking and being together. No child can learn to be powerful and accomplished by standing all by himself.

The "island mentality" or the mind set that says, "I can do it alone; I don't need anyone" will always belong to a few children, and those few will find find the group gig uncomfortable. The discomfort comes from several learned components. One component is selfishness. The selfish child essentially doesn't want to share - anything - his time, his talent nor his treasure. He will shun any group and insist on standing all by himself stubbornly while the train passes him by.

Another learned component is pride. "I'm certainly not going to share with the likes of you!"

And another is simply an unawareness of the world and what it has to offer. Some children are in a dreamland all their own, and some children lack cognitive development that would allow them to see the possibilities of the group.

The job of the preschool and kindergarten teacher is to present group activities carefully to the all the children. The teacher knows that each child in the group is an integral part, an essential part of the group, and each child must be treated as if his importance is primary. Bringing the selfish, proud, and developmentally delayed children into the group is also his or her job. It takes time and patience and a remarkable sense for each child. Blending every child is the goal.

The job of bringing children into the group is mirrored in the job itself. Teachers who are successful are successful because they have blended with their groups, and they know the end product is strength. But blending means working well with others. It means sharing as a part of the teacher's daily agenda. Successful teachers communicate ideas and plans all day with one another, and that kind of group activity offers a teacher the kind of platform that makes the tremendous task of teaching easy.

When teachers work together, the children will see the friendships and exchanges. They will see how naturally teachers laugh among themselves, pat one another on the back, and accomplish anything they set out to do. The children will come to admire what they see among those people who model group behavior.

When children see teachers step up to help one another for the sake of the group, they will come more easily to understand the power of a group, the importance of a group, and the safety and care of a group.

Individuality is never lost in a group. There is always one child who stands out in reading, in math, in art, in building, in house playing, in cutting, in listening, in memorizing...in most things. The ability of a child to perform is comforted by the acceptance of the people most near and dear to the child -- in his group. Without the group, who cares that you won the knowledge bee? Who cares that you got the prize for the best picture? Who cares that you answered correctly?

So when someone asks me about special-ing children, my response is always the same: We're a group activity place. We learn from within a group, and if a child is not able to belong to a group for any reason, we have nothing to offer him or her. Yes, there will always be the special help, the extra rewards, the additional attention that any child needs to keep up with the group, but they have to be part of the group to get that attention.

So next month, when our children come together to build the next play, The St. Patrick's Day Play, they will find that their reliance on one another all winter for play, for companionship, for encouragement, for acceptance, will take on a whole other dimension. And the finished product will illustrate like no other thing the power of a group.