The Home by Judy Lyden

Look around you. If you're home, what do you see? What do you feel? What does home represent? If you've never thought about it, think about it for a minute. Here are some helpers:

Home is a place of safety where no one bothers me.
Home is lonely.
Home is dull and boring.
Home is an investment.
Home is a chore.
Home is more work tacked on to the end of the day.
Home is noisy and unfriendly.
Home is demanding.
Home is a break from the world.
Home is where the garbage is.
Home is where I change my clothes and personality.
Home is a work of art.
Home is a war zone.
Home is my magnet.
Home is the last place I want to be.

When I was a girl growing up, my home was a work of art. It was the thing my parents loved best. I was an ornament in their museum. Ornaments don't have needs, of course, so in the rare instance when this ornament had a need, my home became a war zone because I was in the way of the first priority. I lived in seventeen different beautiful and elaborate homes in seventeen years. At nineteen I ran from the last place I wanted to be. Surely not an auspicious beginning.

As a young woman, married and ready to buy a home myself, I thought I wanted my home to be a work of art too, but I quickly found that it's expensive to buy museum pieces, and in an active home with real children, not ornaments, museum pieces break with a speed not unlike the jet -sound combination.

Somewhere early I discovered that a work of art is a relative thing. Art is something very personal and very subjective a lot like wine. Is a pricey bottle of wine really "good" if it tastes like gasoline to me? It's the same with art. If you like something plain and simple, that simple something can provide the same joy to the heart that a financially or tastefully out of range something might never provide.

I settled my scope on children's art - my children's art - to fill my walls and grace my home. When I framed a couple of my children's art pieces as a Christmas gift for my husband, my home suddenly took on a new reality - a workshop. The idea that a home is a work of art changed overnight to the living model of "a work in progress." I really like the idea of home as a workshop because workshop allows kids to do, to discover in a safety zone a million things they would never discover otherwise.

Today my home is still a workshop. It's filled with tools of discovery and baubles and ornaments and toys and colors and interesting odds and ends on a mixture of old and new furniture where my family can relax and enjoy life. The furniture is comfortable and plentiful and the floors are mostly bare so spills and crashes that naturally happen can happen without too much damage. There is something to look at in every spot in all twelve rooms and it changes frequently and unexpectedly especially when one of the little little drags it out to play with and discover something they had never seen before.

And in the process of learning myself, what have I hoped to teach my children about home? Home is very much a part of self. It's a mirror of what is going on inside the head. If home is a competitive thing, a race to some imaginary financial or collective finishing line, then home is going to be exhausting to a child who lives there. If home is a museum with furniture and art work numbered and untouchable, like my growing up homes, then the child is going to search himself for numbers and wonder about being a part of it all. If home is a place that says clearly that "This is just more work, a chore, another thing to get passed," then it's going to be an unfriendly and uncomfortable place for a child.

Establishing a home that is comfortable for children is harder for those who have enormous expectations. Keeping up with the best house on the block, or the idea of what our parents had for the established couple back in the seventies, eighties or nineties is often not possible today. Young people don't make enough money to copy their parents lives, nor do they have the time.

I think my daughter, Molly, has the right idea at the turn of the 21st century. She lives in a neighborhood where there are children. She wants a home where her three boys can play, can invite their friends and where she can manage their very full lives. Her boys feel comfortable at home and freely come and go always finding things to do and entertaining themselves inside and out - and so do the other kids in the neighborhood. Molly's home is a kid friendly zone, and Molly is a kid friendly mom on the block. It works.

Does home always need to be spotless and run on the clock? In a time when we as Americans have become as casual and open as we've become, it seems nearly senseless to manage dirt and mess with much more than a casual eye. Some people meet the challenge of busy and mess with the "one room in the house" approach. One room remains clean at all times in case the priest arrives and can't think to move the mountain of toys off the chair in the corner.

I remember what I called "close down time" when at a particular time in the day, probably somewhere close to 4:30, we stopped everything for the day. Today, young mothers seem to stretch the afternoon right into the evening, and stop time has become closer to 6:00. But any stop time that is established is helpful in putting toys away, cleaning surfaces that need it so that the workshop idea is tidied for the next day of discovery.

I think today the primary thing to strive for is "warmth." Children want to play in an environment of casual rules and endless possibilities. They want to always be close to mom or dad, have an eye on the world outside, be free enough to spread out their toys within the family activity, and know that someone will recognize what they do with a smile not a shout.

While you are wondering about what your home represents, think about what children are gleaning from you and your home. New Years is coming soon!

Next time, food in the home and what it means.

Christmas Cheer - The Garden School Tattler

Well today's the day - the big Santa visit is nearly here. We're very busy at school finishing up lessons in the morning and projects all afternoon. It's been a real push for goodness. The children are excited about winning angels for their string. Yesterday, two little boys were neck in neck.

Behavior is an interesting development at this age. When school starts in August, there's a hush about the kids that says, "I'm leery; I'll be good for a while." Then one at a time, the children relax and begin to show their comfort zone. They try everything out once or twice. By the end of September, there's a little more order, but it's still pretty much a free-for all. Getting kids quiet at circle time is still about as hard as lifting a car.

Then by Halloween, the kids are beginning to really listen in small groups, they begin to see how the day runs, but the holiday thing descends upon all of us like a bad ghost, and some of the personal behavior reaches an all time low. Teachers are ready to pull their hair out, but help is around the corner!

Once play rehearsals start, the kids begin to settle into cooler weather and a kind of cohesion with the play that brings everyone together. Circle time is productive. The kids begin to know the prayer and say it, and the pledge. They take pride in what they can do. By the end of the play, there is group consciousness that makes the whole atmosphere change.

When play is done, there is a break of sorts, and then the Christmas push for the angels which changes a lot of things. Children with defiant behaviors often turn around. Children are quite good with a few momentary exceptions. By the end of Christmas, this is what we've accomplished:

Children have become a class. That's important. Instead of being 12 different Indians, they are a tribe. They work together, they have built friendships and trusts. They are ready to enter the next part of the year as a team. It takes a long time, but it's the way it should be. All of these children will be ready to move on, when the time comes, to being a solid member of any school group. They know how; they are motivated.

The push from January through Easter is our big academic push. If it's warm at Easter, the kids are done with regular school. They want other things to do, so that's the time the academic extras are important. We can move into things like charting the maps, identifying rocks, talking about history as a story, focusing on foreign language, music and fine arts. The big kids have learned to read and can plunder a book and figure stuff out for themselves. Math becomes a game and the kids who can do the best math games feel an extra sense of superiority.

Every year it's more or less the same. Every season brings new thrills and chills, and that's important. Taking the seasons for what they are and living them to the top and sometimes over the top helps children understand their culture and their own hearts.

When summer begins, it's outside exploring - where are we going and what are we doing?

It's a year of school - our school - but we never promised a regular curriculum!

Walnuts!

Here's a thing to get kids interested in soon. Walnuts actually appeal to many children as a sandwich addition, and look how good they are for you! This is from World's Healthiest Foods.

Food of the Week . . . Walnuts

Did you know that just one-quarter cup of walnuts contains over 90% of the daily value for those hard to find omega 3 essential fatty acids? They are called essential because they are a special protective type of fat that cannot be manufactured by our body and therefore must be supplied by the foods we eat. Researchers believe that about 60% of Americans are deficient in omega-3 fatty acids, and about 20% have so little that tests cannot even detect any in their blood. The list of benefits derived from omega-3s is impressive, ranging from improving cholesterol levels and reducing the risk of stroke to acting as anti-inflammatory agents and improving bone density. Enjoying walnuts as part of your Healthiest Way of Eating not only adds wonderful taste and texture to your meals, but it is an easy way to include more omega-3s into your diet. Walnuts also contain ellagic acid, a compound that supports the immune system and appears to have anticancer properties.

The Senses - Some Stuff to Consider by Judy Lyden

It's a go, go, go week once again. Today is cranberry and popcorn strings. The children should really like this activity. Parents are invited. What does this teach? It's an activity that explores the properties of touch. Too often we forget to reach out and touch. There are some personalities who rarely if ever use their hands to understand. The idea that through sight we understand all things, is a sad thing because sight is only one of the senses. Touching allows us to more fully understand the nuances of being alive and what that life is all about. It's through touch that we demonstrate kindness, affection, and get those feelings returned.

Too often we neglect the senses all together. We abuse taste by clinging to an archetype of what "food should taste like." Tasting new things is often as difficult as jumping from a 50 foot tower, so we stick with white bread and canned soup and the right brand of peanut butter never dreaming that peanut butter can be mixed with a hundred different things and served on a hundred different things. Ever thought of horseradish and peanut butter on lamb?

We use our vision to look, but do we really see, and is that sight making an impact, or is what we see pushed aside for just the important mundane? If we need to watch the sidewalk to see where we are going, do we notice the clouds today, or what's in the window or who is in the parking lot? I'm not a visual person. I often drive someplace and not remember how I got there. My visuals are often imagination. When I do stop to look around, I am always delighted by what I see. Children need to look to really see the world. That's what taking time out for field trips and watching for snow, and going out side for another "look on the world."

We hear but do we really listen? What are we listening for? We always joke that men listen for the dinner chime and the word "yes," but are we ladies listening for anything better? Are we listening to what is really being said? What about the music we listen to? Are we aware of new things in that music or do we just pass the time? Teaching children to sing means being very aware of "how the music goes." It's not an easy thing to do.

Do we really listen to what others are saying, or do we just expect others to say what we think they should say. Are we listening for the response we want, and do we get mad when the response is other. Getting a new or funny response should make us laugh. Too often it just makes us angry, and that's a shame. When a child responds to, "You have your shoes on the wrong feet," and they respond, "But, Miss Judy, they're the only feet I have," it should make me laugh. Life does not happen in a box. Life happens outside the box. Boxes are for storage not for living.

And smells. I joke with the children that I like the smell of skunk and they laugh because they are taught to hate that smell. Personally, I hate the smell of bleach - especially old bleach. We are taught to like and dislike certain smells. Smells teach us about the world and other people. They teach us about health and safety when it comes to food. Smell teaches us about beauty.

So today we will take on the job of making holiday strings of popcorn and cranberries. In stringing the popcorn, we will experience the course feel of the corn, the brittleness, the question, where to I put the needle? It's a discovery zone for kids as they work out the logistics of the soft pliable corn. The cranberries are the opposite. They are hard and slick. They are juicy rather than dry and they are bright rather than dull.

The last, and perhaps the most interesting part of today's activity is the one to one correspondence of stringing one kernel and one berry for a pattern. This is a hard math concept for many children. They don't see it until about age 4. Patterns are important in math skills because upper math has definite patterns which must be understood. If patterns - any patterns - are a new concept for children in grammar school, they will be behind and they may never understand. The project in preschool is to teach and learn about all kinds of patterns and activities that lend themselves to learning about patterns. Patterns don't just exist in the math arena, they exist all over the place, and children need to learn to pick them out.

So it's a project worth doing. Hopefully, at the end of the project, the children will have something nice to take home with them. And that's another thing... taking things home, but maybe we'll leave that for next time.

Cookie Side Up

For all of you who are baking these days, here's a little something I got from World's Healthiest Foods.


Can too much fruit cause weight gain?

Yes, too much fruit can cause weight gain. Too much intake of any food can cause weight gain—although some foods are much safer to eat in excess than other foods.

Fresh fruits contain about 15-20 calories per ounce; for example, a medium-sized apple contains about 120 calories. Most people would be able to include about 2 times that level of fruit calories in their daily meal plan without overeating.

Fruit juice is a little different story because many people could drink one 12-ounce bottle of fruit juice at a single meal, and that bottle by itself would contain about 200 calories. One bottle per day would probably work for many meal plans, but whole fresh fruits still provide better nourishment.

Dried fruit is the most problematic type of fruit in terms of calories. Six ounces of raisins contain about 500 calories. Most people would not be able to successfully fit this many calories of fruit into their daily meal plan.

Weight gain occurs when a person consumes more calories than they he or she expends. Therefore, let's say, hypothetically, that based upon your individual energy needs, you need to consume 2,000 calories to maintain your weight. If, in addition to your regular 2,000 calories, you ate 500 additional calories worth of fruit each day, in 7 days you would gain one pound (one pound is roughly equal to 3,500 calories of excess energy stored up in the form of body fat).

In general, although we encourage daily intake of fresh fruit as part of a healthy meal plan, it's much easier to "overdose" on vegetables versus fruits when it comes to weight management and maintenance of an optimally nourishing diet. Vegetables generally contain about 5-10 calories per ounce—about half the calories of fruit. Always remember, however, that it's your overall meal plan and exercise plan that determines whether you'll gain or lose weight.

Teaching Music

Here's a wonderful article by Marlene Rattigan from Submityourarticle.com. It's a great way for parents and teachers to teach young children just about anything. While you're cooking, cleaning, decorating, singing, shopping, or anything else this season or any time, you might want to remember these ten steps.

Ten Steps to Successful Music Teaching in The Early Childhood Classroom

Young children learn by doing, by being actively involved in their learning through exploring and experimenting, through copying and acting out. And so it is with learning music, the foundations for which are best learnt while developing primary language. As such, a successful early childhood music program must incorporate movement and should quite naturally involve learning across the curriculum. The music program, therefore, can form the basis for the whole curriculum.

1. Make it Fun. They are not in your class to learn music, but learning music is what happens while they're having fun. It it's not fun you've lost them. Fun for them may not be fun for you. If it's not fun for you, you'll NEVER be able to convince them that you're enjoying it. You'll start using every excuse not to do the music session because you'll see it as a chore. If, on the other hand, you have a song, a piece of music or an activity you think is really cool, you'll have no trouble engaging the kids as your enthusiasm will carry them through. Sounds pretty logical, yet few class teachers conduct music lessons as part of the daily curriculum. Find a resource that suits you and do something every day - even if for only five minutes.

2. Establish clear rules from day one. Without this your class will quickly disintegrate into a shambles. They must stop when the music stops. This encourages listening skills. Listening is a skill that has to be learnt. Hearing is a sense we are born with. There's a huge difference. If they can listen, they can respond, and they can learn. Teach them about "space bubbles". Have them stand with arms outstretched and gently swing around. No-one is allowed to go inside their space bubble. Anyone who does must sit to the side. They will not want to miss out on the fun so encourage them to join in for the next track of music or next activity. Do not allow "time out" to be a preferred option. Not every child will feel confident enough to participate fully but sitting out is not an option.

3. Young children learn by doing. Get them actively involved. Music at this age is music and movement. This will incorporate story telling through use of percussion instruments or drama; it will involve dance and action songs and also singing. It will also involve interpretive movement - play some gentle classical music and use scarves to stimulate the imagination.

4. Include motor co-ordination activities. This will stimulate and integrate right and left sides of the brain. Musical instruments are played with both hands. This subject is the topic of a great body of research. Children today are generally not physically active enough to get sufficient stimulation to establish neural pathways. If you can do something daily in the way of motor skills, especially cross-patterning activities conducted to music, it will help enormously.

5. Relate activities to their level of understanding. Engage their imaginations. They live in a fantasy world ' take advantage of it. You personally may not feel inclined towards fantasy. It doesn't matter. Whatever engages them is what matters. Whatever you are wanting them to learn can be done best by engaging their imaginations, and fantasy is the easiest. Use drama in any way to engage their imaginations.

6. Praise them often. They respond best to positive reinforcement. A baby is born fearless. No matter how many times the baby falls over when attempting to walk, and despite injuries along the way, he or she will get up and try again, over and over until that skill is finally mastered. It never occurs to the child, or anyone else, that you have to get it perfect the first time. Everyone encourages them which is an added bonus. Somehow along the way though, by the time many children are in mid primary school, they have already been given so many negatives which erode their self-esteem that they give up trying new things.

7. Remember the K.I.S.S. principle and Keep It Simple Sunshine. Only do a few activities or songs at a time in your music lesson. Repeat them often and only when mastered do you add modifications or a new activity. Keep the whole lesson simple but fun. Do not confuse simple with easy. If the class structure is simple, you can easily add in a more challenging activity.

8. If the children are unused to music and movement sessions, do not try to be too ambitious. Five minutes a day may be enough for the first few weeks, depending on the children. Repeat the lesson (maybe up to three or four times) until confidence and competence improve. They need the repetition. You can add modifications for greater complexity and variation or change one or two activities before moving onto a new lesson. Set them up to succeed.

9. Initially the teacher should model the movements but not necessarily do all the running around. Choose a child to model for you (or the Teaching Assistant or even a parent) if you prefer not to or are unable to model the movements yourself. Observe the children's ability to perform the skills in movement, music, drama, listening and social interaction. The music lesson thus contains so many more outcomes. You are then leveraging your time by combining learning areas. That is why the movements need to be modeled appropriately.

10. Finish each session with stretching and relaxation. (Stretches should never hurt.) After a "mat session" music lesson the stretch only needs to be a full body stretch on the floor, after which the children close their eyes and listen to the music. Initially -

Tell them what you want them to listen for, or, tell them a story of what the music is about, or, ask them to tell you what they think the music is telling them.

If you don't relax the children at the end of the lesson, thus utilizing this time for the affective aspect of music, they'll be unsettled for the rest of the day, especially if it's a dance and drama session. When they are used to relaxing at the end of the lesson they will happily lie down and relax but they need to be taught how to first. Each relaxation session, therefore, does not necessarily have to involve active listening but initially it must. Children are sometimes loud and boisterous because they think that's how they are expected to behave. Give them permission to be still and silent and teach them how. They need it.

The Importance of Early Education

Here's an article from the Harvard Gazette. It's an interesting read. As a grass roots person, I'm not sure any "formula" early childhood program works. I think success in any program comes from the staff and the goals of the program. This did come from Harvard...so give the eggheads a chance.

The importance of early education

Panel stresses need for funding to implement variety of programs

By Colleen Walsh

Harvard News Office

Forty-six years ago, a working-class town in Michigan began a program that changed lives. “Mind-blowing,” one scholar called it at Harvard last week.

The Perry Preschool was a program for 3- and 4-year-olds that used a problem-solving approach to learning, a focus on social development, and the engagement of parents in their child’s education.

More than four decades later, the effects of the hands-on curriculum administered by well-trained teachers are hard to ignore. When measured in a comprehensive, longitudinal study against their adult counterparts who didn’t attend the preschool, the Perry students are much better off. Now in their 40s, the former pre-schoolers have more family stability, earn more money, are less likely to receive welfare, and are less involved in crime.

The preschool and its findings figure prominently in a new book by David Kirp LL.B. ’68, professor of public policy at the University of California, Berkeley, founding director of the Harvard Center on Law and Education, and noted author and journalist. “The Sandbox Investment: The Preschool Movement and Kids-First Politics” examines the movement towards national preschool education and reviews the scientific and economic research on the subject. It also tells of an increasingly receptive political climate and the public support behind it. In addition, the book addresses how politics and policy can mean the movement’s success or failure.

On Nov. 29, Kirp was part of an Askwith Education Forum on early education, sponsored by the Harvard Graduate School of Education (HGSE), along with education experts Kathleen McCartney and Jack Shonkoff.

The group agreed that early experiences can influence learning, and that quality preschool can mean immediate as well as long-term benefits. But they questioned a dogmatic approach to the benefits of preschool education, and stressed that contemporary attitudes on the subject are shaped by limited and possibly outdated science. Important learning and development, they said, can happen well before preschool and long after it. The questions to tackle now, they agreed, are how to go about strengthening all early education — and how to fund the efforts.

“It’s no longer an issue in the scientific community about whether early experiences shape brain circuitry,” said Shonkoff, Julius B. Richmond FAMRI Professor of Child Health and Development and director of Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child. “But it’s still a very complex question in the scientific community when you get beyond the why question, of what should we do, and when should we begin.”

The panel also acknowledged the argument that the science that propels the debate has been oversold. Many experts question the drive to apply the findings in neuroscience and brain development — the widely accepted research that shows the early brain is a hotbed of neural activity — to the creation of school curricula; and many suspect the economic research that suggests phenomenal rates of return on the investment of children who attend preschool.

“We are three people who have used the research to support policies for young children,” said panelist McCartney, HGSE dean and Gerald S. Lesser Professor in Early Childhood Development, who asked the panel to examine the issue. “I could imagine myself putting on my quantitative policy analysis hat and actually embracing some of the criticism.”

Kirp agreed that the science can be useful, but he also offered words of caution. He noted much of the brain science dates back 20 to 30 years with very little of it saying anything new “other than [that] children who live in an extraordinarily deprived environment for some period of time are going to be in some way, shape, or form disabled in the long term. It certainly doesn’t [lead] to baby Einstein or Mozart in the cradle,” he said.

In addition, he warned, there is more to shaping significant policy than just the numbers.

“We have ‘fetishized’ in the academy a statistical archetype and made it mean something … more than is useful … and so made ourselves less useful in policy conversations.”

Shonkoff argued for a broader empirical approach going forward, one that could make the most out of the important early learning period for children.

“How do we build a stronger knowledge base to answer the question really of what should we do?” he asked.

The development and implementation of an effective, universal early education model, the three agreed, is another question entirely.

Much is known about how to develop quality programs. Well-trained educators, better salaries, smaller class sizes, and parent and neighborhood involvement, said Kirp, are all part of the solution. The main problem, he argued, is funding, specifically, where to get the money and where best to spend it.

Shonkoff, a pediatrician, used the analogy of the potential pitfalls of universal health care for children to illustrate his concern for the fate of universal early education. He said giving a child health insurance doesn’t mean the child will have access to good health care. The same could be said of preschool, he said. It’s wrong to assume that just giving children access to decent preschool programs will mean they will all graduate from high school, get a good job, and avoid unintended pregnancies, he contended.

“We are going to have to learn what to do more in the early childhood years to improve outcomes beyond just making people think that somehow preschool is going to solve these problems,” he said.

A developmental scientist in the audience voiced a concern that, with contradictory and uneven data, it was hard even to make a case for the effectiveness of early education programs.

“Try to make me not depressed,” he said.

The panel was optimistic about the new wave of attention on the issue, the broad understanding that it requires adequate investment, and the public will behind it. They agreed the movement represents a sharp departure from the past. And that is reason for hope.

“The reason we are excited is that there is a focus on the early childhood period … [and] we collectively believe that there should be,” said McCartney.

“We’re excited compared to where we used to be.”

The Christmas Season

We had a curious parent who asked this week why we did so much at Christmas time. Lots of things have become our little traditions over the years. I suppose because we've gotten good feedback, and for us at the Garden School, the "always" word is "possibilities." We never really say, "Well, that's not possible," or "Other places don't do that," or "We can't." We're a do place and if it's a possibility, why not give it our best shot.

The holiday season, not my favorite, begins with Halloween and escalates quietly through Thanksgiving and commences with Christmas. It's a one thing after another time. We begin with an all day dress up and pretend day with Halloween. Getting the kids out in costumes is a battle, but it's something the kids really love. This year we went to my mother's nursing home. It was very special indeed to me personally.

With Halloween over, it was time to plunge into the play. Plays are probably the most memorable of all primary years. When you ask a child, "What do you remember about your school years?" or "What was your favorite school memory?" he will likely remember a play. Plays build cohesion, they build solidarity, they build self confidence, and they build a sense of begin, do, and complete - a group of actions too often left unfinished in the modern world.

But writing, learning, practicing, costuming, and directing is a lot of work and can't be done at recess time or after school. It's a school hour two weeks. That means a classroom hiatus must give way for the play. Is it worth it? For the most part, it's my experience that the break actually produces a clearer picture of school work. In my class, after the play, the children suddenly knew all their letters. It's been noted that the more children are in desks at school, the lower the test scores. The less time children are social and discuss school among themselves, the lower the test scores. People learn by sharing and sharing does not mean hours and hours of silent independent work.

Theatre, art, imagination, creativity, spontaneity, possibility all broadens the child and allows him to think outside the box. These are right brained activities that you can't get from a steady stream of worksheets and a nose to the grindstone approach to learning. By thinking outside the box, the child begins to explore the disciplines. He is no longer content with the limiting reach of the textbook. He wants to know why and how. This builds scientists and mathematicians.

When the play is over, it's time to do Christmas around the world. What do other people think of Christmas? What IS Christmas and why is it important? What do we DO at Christmas and why? These are questions that need to be answered for the young child in early childhood or they will not be important. The foundations don't begin in early adult hood; they begin in early childhood, and in the community. It's a trust issue. We spend a morning decorating the Christmas tree and making ornaments because that's our Western Tradition.

We start learning Christmas songs early so that children can really sing them. It takes three weeks of practice, but it's a life time of remembering. We read children's stories about Christmas, learn stories about miracles at Christmas time like the story of Our Lady of Guadeloupe, and St. Nicholas, and this year, we are learning the poem, T'was the Night Before Christmas.

During the Christmas season, we try to touch all the bases for those children who don't get to touch any bases. We will take the children to the Nutcracker today. This performance is a one of a kind in Evansville. It could be the only ballet these children ever see. The information gained today at this ballet could be a part of a child's imagination that allows him to do any number of things in his life. Ballet offers an out of the ordinary art form that encourages the idea that beauty of motion is very much a part of the human desire to be beautiful, to be flawless.

We produce an art show as a way for parents to inexpensively complete their shopping lists. Miss Amy has displayed the artwork in her classroom with a lot of love and affection for the kids. The children are delighted with their work, and will be delighted to see the smiles on the faces of the grandparents who receive it at Christmas time. It took about 40 hours of teacher work to produce the framing. Why do we do this at a rush, rush, rush time at Christmas? Because we've gotten feedback from parents who love it, so it becomes our pleasure. Most of my prominent artwork at my own house is my children's work from childhood. These things I treasure.

We do an golden angel of the day award and gift which is awarded to a special child every day. The child receives a box of goodies. Why a box? In the story, The Littlest Angel, such a box became the star that led the shepherds and the kings to the Christ child. It's a beautiful story that we read every year. Children earn angels every day, and one child who has been especially wonderful gets the golden angel. What does this teach? In my experience, the last of the behavior problems often subside with this little activity. The very idea that anything is possible - even really responsible behavior - and that pride and understanding comes from this behavior is often learned through little paper angels and a little box of treats. It's concrete; it makes sense; it works.

Then there is the last push to make gifts for parents in the last dash to the big Santa party.

For the party, parents are asked to secretly bring a little trinket toy that looks like it was made in Santa's workshop, and we have a visit from Santa who brings these things in an enormous green bag. There is a prize for the best behaved child, and a bean feast of cookies and cupcakes, and then it's over.

For parents, we usually have a charity we're collecting for because someone in the school community has a need. We have supplied some of our poorer families with whole Christmases right down to the turkey in some years. This year we are collecting for the ill who have been forgotten.

So that's the ticket. When it's all over, teachers dash home to do their own Christmas prep. At my house, I have 15 family members and lots of friends and out of town company to think about, so it never really ends until December 26.

And if you think Holiday season is busy, just wait until summer...

Just for Fun

We've had a lot of printer problems this week, and Miss Molly had to go out and buy another one for the office. I'm sure the following is not our problem because poor Maestro...

But it could be a problem for you at home if you find your printed goods are somewhat in a mess.

Gambia

Here's another Africa story. I think it's interesting how African countries are working to bring education to a standard everyone understands.

Gambia: Butterfly No.1 Nursery School Inaugurated

The Daily Observer (Banjul)

4 December 2007
Posted to the web 4 December 2007

Hatab Fadara

A nursey school built at the tune of D500,000 by the Norwegian Butterfuly Association, Friends of Ebo Town and One People was on Saturday innaugurated at Kiang Nema, Lower River Region.

The school has a capacity of over two hundred students and provides free access to early childhood education with free clothing.

The philanthropists also off-loaded a 40-foot container containing educational materials such as furniture, books, sports equipment and cartons of second hand clothing, amongst others.

In his inaugural speech on behalf of the governor of Lower River Region, Lamin Darboe, deputy governor lauded the project, describing it as an important milestone in the annals of Nema Village.

According to him, a nursey school is not only a preparatory room for learning but helps the child to acquire good character and discipline that will make them become responsible future leaders. He added that it is obligatory upon all human beings to seek knowledge in any form as according to him, it is only through education that sustainable development can be achieved.

"Development in the true sense is not mapped in a single route. It is apparent that the best tool to any meaningful and lasting standard of living is through education. Therefore, the sponsors of this nursery school in Nema have done it all, since the importance of early childhood education cannot be over-emphasised," he noted.

According to deputy governor Darboe, the descision by the sponsors to build a nursery school in Nema that will provide free childhood education to two hundred students, is in line with the Gambia government policies and priorities in providing quality, accessible and affordable education to all.

He challenged parents to inculcate good morals and learning aptitude into their children as well as to nurture discipline, which he said, is the cornerstone of any viable and decent society. He then assured the sponsors of his office's unflinching support to the nursery school.

Speaking on behalf of the sponsors, Anbjorg Juliussen, head of the Norwegian group expressed his delight. She hailed the people of Kiang Nema for their loyalty towards the project, adding that more projects for the village are in the pipeline.

Mrs Juliussen used the occasion to disclose some of their projects in the country such as the Butterfly Number 1 ursery school, Jeshwang health centre and the Ebo Town school projects amongst others.

Relevant Links West Africa Children and Youth Education Gambia

Lamin B Fadera, an intermediary between the sponsors and the village, said the initiative could not have come at a better time than now to help children of the village start their early childhood education at the primary level.

Mama Jarssey-Jawara, president of Nema Keita Kafo echoed similar sentiments and appealed to the donors to assist the village with more project.

Other speakers at the ceremony were Chief Demba Sanyang of Kiang Central and Bakary Seedy Fadera. The ceremony was entertained with a cultural performances.

Study about Preschool Behavior

Here's an interesting article from Salem News.com. I think it has a lot of merit. What we see more and more is the poorly behaved child who is very far behind. Most poorly behaved children have few friends which makes being behind academically a double whammy.

This is one of the things we do at the GS - we make sure that we push push push the manners, and the social skills. It takes a tremendous amount of work, and mostly it's a matter of individual plans. Right now we are working on "What's the most important thing right now..." Some of the kids are getting it. Here's the article:

Study Links Preschool Behavior to Academic Success

Salem-News.com

Results found that every seven-point increase in behavioral regulation over the school year predicted between three weeks and 2.8 months of learning gains in vocabulary, math and literacy.

Results found that every seven-point increase in behavioral regulation over the school year predicted between three weeks and 2.8 months of learning gains in vocabulary, math and literacy.

(CORVALLIS, Ore.) - A study by an Oregon State University faculty member shows that preschool age children who do not master basic self-regulation skills such as paying attention and following instructions may fall behind in academic subjects including math and reading.

Megan McClelland, an associate professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Sciences at OSU, and her colleagues used a game called the Head-to-Toes Task to assess a child’s ability to listen, pay attention and regulate their own behavior.

The researchers found that children’s performance on the behavioral regulation game significantly and positively predicted early literacy, vocabulary and math skills even after controlling for initial skills in those areas.

These findings contradict a recent controversial study that found weak or no association between children’s socioemotional skills – including attention – and learning.

In contrast, McClelland and other leading child development experts across the country find a direct correlation between specific aspects of school readiness such as self-regulation and academic success.

“How can a child have strong reading or math skills if they can't sit still, pay attention or remember instructions?” McClelland said. “We found that the gains children made on a five-minute, self-regulation game over the preschool year predicted the gains they made in early reading, math, and vocabulary.”

The Head-to-Toes Task that McClelland and her co-authors used as a measure of behavioral regulation requires attention, working memory and inhibitory control.

More than 300 preschool children were tested at two different sites in Michigan and Oregon. The study controlled for age, gender and other background variables.

Results found that every seven-point increase in behavioral regulation over the school year predicted between three weeks and 2.8 months of learning gains in vocabulary, math and literacy.

McClelland said that some of the new research pointing to the overriding importance of early math and reading skills was based on less sensitive measurement of social skills and self-regulation, compared to relatively strong measures of early achievement.

“I don’t think you can separate a child’s behavior from their achievement during the early years of school,” she said. “When you give a 5-year-old a test to assess early math skills, you might be testing their ability to sit still, pay attention and follow direction just as much as testing their math ability.”

McClelland said the Head-to-Toes Task is a strong predictor of early achievement because it does not rely on parent or teacher reports, which can often be biased. Instead, it independently assessed the child’s ability to follow multiple instructions in the game and tracked their progress over the school year.

McClelland’s findings on the link between behavioral regulation and academic skills came out in the summer edition of Developmental Psychology.

Another paper that assesses the reliability and developmental trends of the Head-to-Toes Task, authored by McClelland and lead author Claire Cameron Ponitz of the University of Virginia, will be published in Early Childhood Research Quarterly in early 2008.

What's Going on in Africa

I think Africa is a most interesting place. Here's an article about Rwanda. There is still a discrimination against girls there, and sadly, in the article it describes the ill treatment of young females a thing we can't even imagine here in the U.S.

Covance and Care Partner on Rwanda Early Childhood Development Initiative

PRINCETON, N.J., Dec. 3 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Covance Inc. , a global drug development services company, and CARE, a leading humanitarian organization, announced today that they are partnering to support the Covance-CARE Early Childhood Development (ECD) Initiative for Orphans and Vulnerable Children in Rwanda. Covance will contribute to help transform three existing buildings into community day care centers for children ages two to four and renovate two existing nursery schools. Covance will also support the daycare center operations that will provide a safe and secure environment for pre-school children and assist in their physical, emotional, and cognitive development.

A delegation of Covance and CARE representatives visited Rwanda recently to meet many of the community leaders as well as the children and their families participating in this program.

"CARE and Covance share the core belief that education is fundamental in alleviating poverty around the world," said Donald Kraft, Covance Corporate Senior Vice President of Human Resources, who led the delegation with Deborah Tanner, Covance Corporate Senior Vice President and President of Central Laboratory Services. "We are honored to partner with CARE in its efforts to bridge the educational, social, and developmental gap among the most vulnerable children in Rwanda. The dedication and professionalism of the CARE teams in Rwanda are outstanding."

"Our employees have demonstrated a strong commitment to making a difference in these children's lives and contributing to their developmental needs and well-being," said Deborah Tanner. "Together with CARE, we are looking forward to the development of sustainable learning environments that will help empower and shape these children, who serve as the future of Rwanda."

CARE International developed the innovative 5x5 ECD Model, which is being implemented in Kenya, Uganda, Zambia and Rwanda. Its aim is to promote the well-being of vulnerable children below school age and address the significant gap in programming for preschool Orphans and Vulnerable Children (OVC) in Africa. The model also builds on CARE's strengths in fostering community economic development, OVC support, and child health, nutrition, education, as well as their rights. In Rwanda, CARE International is piloting the ECD project in the district of Kamonyi, which will assist communities to set-up and run three ECD centers for children ages two to four in Musambira, Karama, and Nyarubaka sectors. The organization will also support two nursery schools for children ages four to six in Gacurabwenge and Karama sectors.

"We have been truly impressed with the strong support and commitment from the Covance employees for this important cause," said Elie Nduwayesu, CARE International Orphans and Vulnerable Children Program Manager in Rwanda. "The long-term impact of deprivation in early childhood has been well documented. The majority of children who are not in school in Africa are girls and are more likely to experience abuse, neglect, and child domestic labor. The ECD program will protect these children from all types of abuse and contribute significantly to their healthy development."

Up to 16 percent of all orphans in Africa are under five years of age. An estimated 70.9 million children in this age group are living in conditions of extreme poverty and disadvantage; one out of ten will not see their fifth birthday. The sheer scale and complexity of the problems of AIDS, conflict, natural disasters, diseases, and poverty are eroding traditional support networks and leaving these young children without the care that is critical to growth and development. These vulnerable children face unprecedented threats from arrested cognitive and emotional development, preventable illnesses, malnutrition, HIV infection, and child rights violations. CARE International's objective is to learn from the pilot in order to scale-up the 5X5 ECD model in Rwanda in the near future.

About CARE

CARE is a leading humanitarian organization fighting global poverty. CARE places a special focus on working alongside poor women because, equipped with the proper resources, women have the power to help whole families and entire communities escape poverty. Women are at the heart of CARE's community-based efforts to improve basic education, prevent the spread of HIV, increase access to clean water and sanitation, expand economic opportunity, and protect natural resources. CARE also delivers emergency aid to survivors of war and natural disasters, and helps people rebuild their lives. For further information on CARE's mission and programming, please visit www.care.org.

About Covance Inc.

Covance, with headquarters in Princeton, New Jersey, is one of the world's largest and most comprehensive drug development services companies with revenues over the last twelve months of approximately $1.5 billion, global operations in more than 20 countries, and approximately 8,700 employees worldwide. Information on Covance's products and services, recent press releases, and SEC filings can be obtained through its website at www.covance.com

Soft Drinks and Other Sugary Stuff

It's the Christmas season and kids are going to eat a lot of sugar, but that doesn't mean we need to increase the already unnatural load with sugary drinks. While reading a list of new articles from Food Navigator, I stumbled on this and thought it was interesting.

At school, we find that those children who drink soda at home are those who learn at a much slower pace. These kids are often the ones who respond, "huh" to a question, to a problem to an interaction. Forming nice clear ideas is often tough for the child bound to a diet of soft drinks and junk food. To be behind the other children in academics and then to be behind in health is a problem that begins in the home. There are a dozen children who come to school and won't drink milk because it's not soda, and that's a shame.

The whole process of drinking is a quick way of getting food and calories into the body quickly. Did you know that drinking a 10 ounce glass of juice is like eating ten oranges with as many calories.

So read the article and see what you think:

Sugary drinks linked to Alzheimer's, says study

By Lorraine Heller

12/10/2007 - Researchers in the US have found that mice given a sugar solution as part of their daily diets showed increased signs of developing Alzheimer's disease.

The findings, by the American Society for Biochemistry and Molecular Biology (ASBMB), could place more pressure on soft drinks manufacturers, who are already under attack for their role in the rising obesity epidemic.

Although both obesity and diabetes have already been linked to the development of Alzheimer's disease, researchers Ling Li and her colleagues aimed to examine whether high sugar consumption in an otherwise normal diet would affect Alzheimer's progression.

Using a genetic mouse model that develops Alzheimer's-like symptoms in adulthood, the scientists supplemented the balanced diet of half of the animals with 10 per cent sugar water.

After 25 weeks, they found that the sugar-fed mice had gained around 17 per cent more weight than the controls, had higher cholesterol levels, and developed insulin resistance.

Following memory skill and brain composition tests, the sugar-fed mice were also found to have worse learning and memory retention and their brains contained over twice as many amyloid plaque deposits, an anatomical hallmark of Alzheimer's.

The researchers stated they "cannot be certain if the increased mental impairment resulted specifically from the higher sugar intake or higher calories in general".

However, they said their findings "highlight the potential risk of sugary beverages".

"The human equivalent of the mouse diet would be roughly five cans of soda per day, although since mice have a higher metabolism, it may actually take less sugar intake in humans," they said.

Currently, about 12 million people in the US plus the EU suffer from Alzheimer's, with some estimates predicting this figure will have tripled by 2050. The direct and indirect cost of Alzheimer care is over $100 bn (€ 81 bn) in the US alone. The direct cost of Alzheimer care in the UK was estimated at £15 bn (€ 22 bn).

Evidence has emerged over the last five years that many of the conditions that raise the risk for heart disease, such as obesity, uncontrolled diabetes and hypercholesterolemia, also increase the risk for Alzheimer's.

A study published last year in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease found a "strong correlation" between obesity and Alzheimer's.

Scientists at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia and Edith Cowan University in Joondalup, Western Australia, found that the fatter a person, the higher their blood levels of beta-amyloid, a sticky protein substance that builds up in the Alzheimer's brain.

According to the researchers, beta-amyloid is thought to play a major role in destroying nerve cells and in cognitive and behavioral problems associated with the disease.

The researchers claimed their study was one of the first attempts to try to find out on both the pathological and the molecular levels how obesity was increasing the risk of Alzheimer's.

Kindness and Manners by Judy Lyden

I'm posting this comment from a reader because it's so near and dear to my heart. The little girl mentioned here has about the best manners of any child I know. She is also intelligent, artistic, interested and beautiful. But these attributes won't take her as far as her brilliant manners:

The best compliment someone can give me as a parent is to tell me my child is well mannered. This is something we talk about and work on nearly every day - it's that important to our family. We even discuss situations that she has experienced when other children were ill mannered and how that makes her feel. I think sometimes she learns more from the bad manners of others and how it makes her feel than anything we could teach her. Hopefully the lessons she has learned at home and her time spent at GS will carry through her lifetime.

Who is noticed in a classroom today? Mostly it's the kids who can't sit, can't keep quiet, can't put their own desires second to the order of the group. But the experienced teacher sees that the few who always sit quietly, always listen will recognize these children as their golden kids.

Why is it that so few children understand that the order of the day, the order of the group is important to the very life of things at hand? Because the very idea that you come before me has become an alien idea in a push shove world. We have pampered ourselves to the point that our needs, our likes and dislikes, our desires come first. The person next to us only matters if they can add to our lives and what we want. So the idea that kindness to others for the sake of kindness becomes lame. Why should I?

Does a life of kindness towards others mean our own life becomes meaningless? Must we depend on tax money to be our "kind" agent? Children don't know about tax money yet, so do we just nix the idea of kindness toward one another until they do understand?

Every day there are thousands of opportunities to be kind to those around us. Kindness is the route of good manners because kindness is the emotion that surfaces in the human heart when we recognize the needs of others and rally to their cause. Teaching children to recognize the needs of others seems almost impossible sometimes unless parents are teaching the same lesson at home.

Here's a classroom scenario: A child raises her hand and is called on. "Miss Jones, Brian doesn't understand this page, can you help him please?"

"That's none of your business," snaps the teacher.

Brian continues to egg on the other child for the answer. The teacher sees the two children talking and punishes both.

In a fast paced careless age, it's easy to think the one child is tattling on the other and the two children are making mischief in the back of the classroom. But by listening with the heart to the two, another result should have emerged. It's not always easy to be a listener - especially when half the class is poorly mannered. Sometimes a tired teacher will take the low road and learn from the kids, and that's a shame.

The question to ask the self is: What do I see when I look at another person I don't know? Do I see a potential friend or a potential enemy? Do other people pose a threat or are other people mostly benign? The way you see the world is probably the way your children will enter the world because they will be watching you watch the world. Personalities are often developed by unspoken information.

When children enter the world at school, they watch the adults and they often emulate what they see. Teachers who restrict kindness, who pull away from children, who refuse to personally and emotionally enter the life of the classroom will only strengthen the idea in a child that self matters most. On the other hand, great kindness and great involvement will teach children that other people can be a great source of pleasure to them and will add immeasurably to their lives.

A life of kindness and compassion is a life of joy. You can't teach this; you can only experience this when you copy the life of someone who behaves that way. To say that loving one's neighbor first hand makes time spent in the world delightful goes lame and becomes a dead end if the intent behind it only strengthens the selfish side.

In the same way, manners put on for "a result" are not manners at all. "Getting something" because I said the right words or played the game for fifteen seconds is not the mirror of kindness. Real manners come from a way of life - putting the self after the next person for the sake of harmony is the beginning of a life of kindness.

And children need to learn that everyone won't receive their kindness with the same enthusiasm with which it's delivered. A child's disappointment needs to be worked out at home by a loving parent. In time, and with maturity, children will learn that no act of kindness is wasted even if it's not received well. They should learn that some people will refuse to participate in good manners and a life of kindness no matter what he or she does.

The lesson to learn is that loving those around us is the core of good manners. It's a whole other world of understanding some people will learn and others won't. That's what the child in the italics learned very early, and she learned this from her parents who also live that way.

Just for Fun

We've had a lot of printer problems this week, and Miss Molly had to go out and buy another one for the office. I'm sure the following is not our problem because poor Maestro...

But it could be a problem for you at home if you find your printed goods are somewhat in a mess.

Manners by Judy Lyden

Today at our small school we will be decorating our gigantic Christmas tree. Unfortunately, it can't be a live tree because our heating system is in the ceiling. A live tree dries out in minutes and it becomes a fire hazard. But it will still be fun to dig through the ornaments left from last year and make new ones this year and hang our things on the tree. The old and the new... Today will be a lend and borrow and use and "can I have" day. This is a day when our best manners count.

I always tell the children that manners are a way of taking care of our neighbors. Who are our neighbors? Everyone we meet today. They are our friends, our mothers and fathers, other children's mothers and fathers, even the man who comes in to change the mats and bring paper is our neighbor. The idea that everyone is our neighbor in the big wild world is too big a concept for children - even for us sometimes, so if we settle on those we can see today, the lesson is begun.

Taking care of our neighbors means recognizing them as like kind. Many children are suspect of like kind and treat each other as if the species ends with self. Many children are not even suspect that there ARE any other children and go about truly believing they are the only child - even in a crowd. Manners toward anyone die with a love of self.

Using the words please, thank you, I'm sorry, and excuse me are often foreign words that never seem to find a space in the word bank of a selfish child. This is part of communication skills 101 and needs a lot of work with every very young child. Gentle reminders help. So does ignoring especially rude "I want more milk." We always look at a child who demands rather than asks and cheerfully say, "That's so interesting; I'm glad you told me."

Pushing, shoving, antagonizing other children is part of the bad manner scheme that's become an epidemic today. Just getting children to stand in line quietly is a feat of engineering that sometimes leaves us dismayed. Yet there are some children who are so brilliantly behaved and so obviously aware of each other that it brings tears to our eyes. What makes the difference?

Again, manners are first taught at home and then re-enforced in the public arena. Trying on manners is a personal choice for children these days, and many parents don't think they are necessary or useful in a push shove world. Children who live in homes where manners are something that never apply will have a tough time in public places like school.

Putting someone else first is the best manner possible. Explaining that to a selfish child is like explaining quantum mechanics to me. Selfishness is the antithesis of communication and the ruination of social behavior. So the first thing to suppress in a manner-less child is selfishness. That can't happen if it doesn't happen at home.

Ultimately, most children know what they are supposed to do. Explaining often helps, but first a child has to listen to understand what the instruction is. So you can see it's a wheel of behaviors. Getting on the wheel at the right time is the key. Days like today may be one of those opportunities.

Today we will talk about caring for one another, sharing, complimenting and taking care of one another's needs. It's a good practice for manners.

More about specific manners later.

Toys

Comment: I thought this was an interesting article. Might be fun to offer the test to your child. It's really amazing what they pick up and keep as information to be used later. Yesterday we talked about St. Nicholas. I wonder how much they remembered. You can find SavvySource here.

From Read/Write Web

Savvy Source Launches Customized Educational Toy Gift List
by Josh Catone

SavvySource, an online parenting site that reviews toys, preschools, camps, and books, and lets parents share activity ideas, will on Wednesday launch a creative way to capitalize on the holiday shopping season. In partnership with a non-profit organization that deals with early childhood education, the web site has put together a quiz that helps parents assess and track the development of their child (aged 2 to 6), and receive a personalized list of recommendations for age appropriate educational toys, books, and activities -- all cleverly linked to Amazon via an affiliate code.

The quiz, though simple to complete, is long. Very long (it takes about a half hour). Not having any kids of my own, I know nothing of early childhood development, so to test out the site I enlisted the help of my mom -- who, as it happens, is an expert in just that. We created a fictional child (based loosely on a real one she works with at her job) and took the quiz.

For the most part, though slightly put off by the length, we were impressed by the depth and breadth of the questions it asked. It seemed to ask a lot of the types of things parent should be paying attention to, though it was not without some oddities. There were some duplicate questions (however, the version of the quiz I took was a beta copy, and SavvySource says they are still doing some "minor bug-fixing") and some strange ones. One of the weirdest asked if my child could "identify and describe the ways that the sun, wind, and rain work." I'm a college educated 24-year-old, and I have no problem admitting that I have no idea how the sun works (some sort of nuclear reaction, perhaps? That's as sophisticated as I can get) -- or how wind works for that matter (rain I think I could explain to some degree of accuracy). It's very doubtful that any 2 to 6 year old child could describe how those things operate.

When the quiz is completed, SavvySource compiles a "Progress Portrait" and a "Learning Guide" personalized for your child. The former charts your child's progress in the areas covered by the quiz, and can be updated as your child is able to do new things, while the latter gives personalized toy, book, and activity recommendations.

The recommendations seemed pretty well constructed, and we were impressed by the fact that they included free activity suggestions along with the Amazon-linked toys and books. The downside is that the recommendations are a bit overwhelming -- rather than constructing an overall portrait of your child based on the quiz as a whole and giving a handful of recommendations based on your kid's strongest areas (or those most in need of stimulation), the site gives separate recommendations for each, segmented area of the quiz. The result is an exceptionally long list of product suggestions that feels less personalized than it should be after 30 minutes put into answering quiz questions.

One nice touch about the Learning Guide, though, that ties in your quiz answers, is that each recommendation comes with a description of which skills that product helps develop and shows you how your child ranked in those skill areas based on your answers. The site also provides a utility for culling the list into a single "Learning Registry," which can then be shared with others (friends, relatives, etc. -- anyone who may want to buy your child a gift).

Conclusion

In the end, SavvySource has come up with a unique and potentially helpful way to make money this holiday season. I give them a lot of credit, as well, for actively promoting educational toys and books for children, which are certainly better than DVDs and video games for developing young minds (and motor skills, social skills, etc.). Including free activity ideas among the product recommendations is a nice touch that makes their service seem less commercially driven and will probably be a hit among parents.

At the very least, if the site doesn't help you find a good holiday gift for your child, the quiz might at least help parents to start thinking about the types of things they should be paying attention to in terms of gaging their child's development and may give them ideas for things to try working on with their kids (for example, sorting shapes by color).

Making Life Better at Home by Judy Lyden

One of the toughest things to do as a parent is to make a clean sweep change in the home because there are other people to consider. Suddenly doing things differently can meet with every negative in the human sphere. Children will be defiant; spouses may be passively aggressive; in laws critical and neighbors taken back as new rules and new schedules emerge.

Before making clean sweeps, it's best to use a little thing we used to make good use of namely self examination. The question to ask the self is: What have I done or failed to do in the past that I'm now going to change?

Have I been too lax about things that matter?
Have I been too strict about things that really don't matter?
Have I given my children room to grow or have I been stingy about time and space?
Have I jumped to conclusions without taking the time to listen?
Have I simply not listened because it's just too hard?
Have I brushed off my spouse or my child in favor of my own needs?

These activities are primary in making anger or violence emerge, so really examining the self to understand where the problem lies is a first job. The question of where the anger comes from will lead to success. Failing to get to the bottom of the cause of the anger will not allow success.

Most anger stems from ignorance and a reluctance to participate in the activities that call us. Someone who is angry has generally failed to fully enter the play be it household or workplace or church or club or source place of the anger. When they are finally forced to participate, anger surfaces when they finally have to participate. By keeping aloof of activities, ignorance of what the play actually is forces all kinds of negative feelings, and when laughter surfaces from the play, the parent who is not connected is likely to snap.

By learning to step into any and all activities in the home, to be aware, to be listening, parents will become a part of the play. Being part of the play takes every question above and neutralizes them one by one.

While we are in the play or activities at home we establish what is important, what is not, allow for growth without play becoming a free for all. We naturally listen so we don't have to ask later. We learn to listen so the barriers dissolve. And by entering the play we establish a connection so that no one feels brushed off.

But what about my needs? I don't want to be constantly in the midst of other people's activities and play. I have my own agenda.

These words bespeak a single person without children. The role of parent is participation in the lives of those he or she is rearing. The very idea that someone can remain aloof, distant or other than the family is a wrong idea. That's why playrooms away from the family space are a bad idea. Children need to play underfoot because that's where they learn most - from those they love the most. When children slide off into other spaces, they separate from the parent and also become aloof.

But there's mess. Yes, children come with a considerable amount of mess. But mess should only be mess for an allowed time. Mess is one of the greatest achievers of anger and violence in the household. By establishing a time when the mess gets picked up every evening and put away until the next day will allow other family times to emerge - like a dinner hour, like an after dinner family time, like bath time and finally a reasonable bed time - the toys are gone, the mess is over for the day, and now we can do what is also important.

A friend of mine asked me the other day about her children's failure to clean up a mess that led to household anger. I reminded her that forfeit is an excellent plan in the event of reluctance of a child to take responsibility of cleaning his own mess. By using a clean unused garbage can with wheels, a parent can clean the offending mess at the appointed time and then park the can away for a time out of reach of the child. Whatever is in the can remains in the can for 24 hours. If it includes homework, school uniforms, glasses, whatever, it will show the child the need to take responsibility and help. When a child tells his teacher that he does not have his homework because he failed to comply with a parent's need for help, he probably won't do it again.
It doesn't have to be angry.

By establishing a stop time for play, children understand other household needs. They begin to understand a new rhythm of activities. By understanding other household needs, manners begin to emerge again, and there is generally more peace at home.

Next time: manners and why they are the life of the home.

The Garden School Tattler

Yesterday was a really good day. We had lots of kids and the dramas and the play went really well. We are experiencing a business that we haven't experienced for a long time. This is a good thing for us, because it allows teachers a wider scope in handling the issues of the many rather than the issues of the few.

I am teaching my class of 3 year olds how to count to 30. I chose thirty because the difference in the numbers from one to ten, then eleven to twenty, then twenty-one to thirty is more pronounced than any other order. I had to laugh when they all tried their luck at the abacus. India got up, gave me one of her "I can conquer the world" looks, and proceeded to say on the first bead, "Thirty." I shook my head. "That's the last one," I said. "Sixteen?" she quizzed.

Isaac just blew everyone away. He just counted right up to thirty as though he was performing. It was cute and it was wonderful and he earned a candy bar.

They all tried, and all did something. We will continue to work on this. Try helping your child count while he is in the car.

We are beginning to make Christmas decorations. Make sure you ooh and aah over these wonderful little art creations. It means so much to them.

Friday we will be decking out the tree. Parents are welcome.

We are putting up another tree in front that will be for charity. Please consider being kind to others this year. A letter will follow.

Behavior Begins at Home by Judy Lyden

Behavior is taught in the home. Children learn to behave through the example of parents, siblings, and guests who visit or even stay for a long time in a home. Children are remarkably interested in the behavior skills or the behavior errors of those they witness. But more than anyone else, a child will examine his parents' behavior first and primarily and will copy it.

Good parents sometimes ask why a very young child, a child who is three or four or even five, is behaving poorly, why he's angry or violent. The answer nearly always lies someplace at home. The copy cat behavior may be misinterpreted; it may be something taken out of context and misconstrued; it may be a one time thing a child has seen and continues to copy, but behavior patterns are patterns and they are learned.

Rarely do peers influence a child's constant poor behavior. And teachers always lament that what children learn at school often evaporates at home. Normally, this is not a bad thing, because we want children to learn from parents first. The parent is the primary educator of the child, and that helps to make the home the primary teaching place. These are traditional values and well worth keeping.

When it doesn't work, however, when values get misdirected at home, it's hard to re-teach outside the home. That's where cooperation comes in between home and school. A teacher's job is to make sure that during a school day, a child is able to learn in a safe and structured environment. If children learn violence at home, they will bring it to school. If they learn disrespect at home, they will bring that to the classroom as well, and the actual teaching halts in a classroom in order to put safety back in place.

This is the time for intervention. It's the time for parents to listen to teachers about helping children change behavior patterns.

Learning that violence is an acceptable way of life comes from seeing, hearing, and experiencing violence at the hands of parents. When parents shout at one another, when they occasionally hit one another or the dog, or kick the TV, or slam doors or throw things, children are learning.

And parents may not be lashing out themselves, but perhaps the music, TV or movies they are watching are demonstrating that violence is acceptable. If mom is watching this stuff, it must be a good way to act, so thinks the child. And he will begin to act out what he has seen on TV, from movies, from sports events and what he hears in song. And he will hit, bite, scratch, slap, and generally abuse those kids around him while he is playing the role of TV hero.

Children won't make the distinction between heroes and barbarians, and a constant TV menu of violence can produce a violent child. A child may not even know he is violent. People of violence think they have a right to be violent and hurting, and will do it as often as they choose.

Angry parents will also produce angry children, and angry children will lash out at those around them. Even if parents hold it in, children may not be able to hold emotions in because they have not developed the skills to put anger away for the sake of others. Children will invariably copy an angry parents' behavior by being artificially angry simply because that's what dad does, or mom does, or grandma who slams her door all the time.

Parents who are constantly in a state of angry flux, frustrated by their days, impatient with others, irritated by what's around them will create a mimicking child. This angry child will rise into an angry state as a first response to anything or everything and violence always follows.

The answer to correcting violence at home is to begin all over again today with a complete change of attitude. Finding out what triggers anger and then violence at home is essential. Stopping the adult behavior is the first step in correcting a violent child.

Questions for parents to ask to get to the bottom of anger issues:

1. Do I like being home, and am I happy there or would I rather be someplace else?
2. Is my TV or radio or music player on; is it on louder than the room's conversation?
3. Am I aware of what is broadcasting as acceptable teaching material, or is the sound just on?
4. Can I name the last five TV shows my children watched?
5. How do I respond to my children after a long day?
6. How do I respond to my spouse and his or her problems when they walk in the door?
7. Do I bring my office or work frustrations home and take it out on my family?
8. When was the last time I laughed at home or hugged someone I'm suppose to love?
9. Am I creative at home or do I just expect everyone else to make the home work?
10. How do I view myself?
House guard
Housekeeper
House clown
House dog
House matriarch
House Atlas

Next time: Making it better