New York

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I'd rather be with the Crocodile.

Day Care for Moms Who Lunch
By Alexandra Wolfe The New York Times
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2005

Before her daughter was born, Jodi Della Femina's week was full of opportunities to fit in the little things that constitute the good life in New York City: four visits a week to the gym, manicures, pedicures.

But the arrival of little Annabel Kim two years ago put an end to that. Now Della Femina gets her exercise from pushing a stroller and taking an occasional mother-baby yoga class. Manicures and pedicures are now done on an emergency basis.

"Pampering takes the back burner when you have a child," said Della Femina, 37, a travel and food writer.

Help is on the way, though. This month, Citibabes, one of a number of new private clubs for children (and their parents), will open in 10,000 square feet, or 930 square meters, of prime real estate in lower Manhattan. The members-only club will offer children classes in cooking and foreign languages, as well as an indoor playground, while mothers can visit the club's wellness center, gym or spa. There will be a lounge with a concierge to make restaurant reservations, and a café will offer meals with extra folic acid for prenatal and postpartum mothers.

"I'm counting the seconds until Citibabes opens," said Jill Kargman, co-author of the novels "Wolves in Chic Clothing" and "The Right Address," who is, with Della Femina, a founding member of the club.

Kargman, who has a baby sitter for her 2-year-old daughter, Sadie, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., plans to be at Citibabes after that, during what she called the "zombie zone" before Sadie's bedtime. "Motherhood is not enough to forge a friendship," Kargman, 30, said. "There's this whole idea of 'we both bore fruit so let's be best friends.' But with this club, proximity will bring intimacy."

In New York, Citibabes joins Kidville, a 20,000-square-foot space on the Upper East Side of Manhattan that opened in January. Unlike Citibabes, to which only 1,000 will be invited to be founding members at $1,250 a year, Kidville is open to any family with a child enrolled in a class. Fees begin at $595 a semester. In Los Angeles, Nana's Garden, which opened late last year, charges $90 a month for membership and is open to everyone.

All three clubs charge separately for an assortment of personal services and children's activities, like tarot card readings at Nana's Garden and "Calling All Future Oscar Winners" parties at Kidville, in which the children walk down a red carpet and perform in a theater.

While the owners of both Kidville and Nana's Garden emphasize that they are open to anyone who can pay the fees, the owners of Citibabes, Tara Gordon and Tracey Frost, see their club's invitation-only membership as key to its appeal.

"People might be frustrated at first that it's members-only," said Della Femina, one of 19 members of the Citibabes board.

But, she added, "There is something nice about having that small community."

Citibabes and clubs like it are a sign of the times, according to Peter Stearns, a social historian and the author of "Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America." Stearns said the development of such clubs reflected "parents' status concerns, and their anxiety also." Not only do the clubs reveal that parents think the outside world is dangerous and that children must be sheltered, he said, but "it's clearly an effort to teach social class pretty early."

And while many adults extol the convenience of the clubs and the community they find there, some worry about the message it sends.

"I'm against the whole concept," said Renée Rockefeller, a 36-year-old mother of four who took her 2-year-old son, Teddy, to Kidville. After a few classes, she pulled him out.

"I just don't think that all of a sudden marketing to kids and their mothers works," Rockefeller said. "It's hard sitting at the table and keeping kids quiet because it requires effort on the part of the parents, but that's your job. No one said it was going to be easy."

But Pilar Guzmán, the editor of Cookie, a new magazine aimed at what it calls sophisticated parents, compares the new clubs to day care options available at no cost in many European countries.

"If you can get around the elitism and the fact that they cater to a certain kind of woman, kids' clubs reinforce the idea that pampering yourself and being a good parent are not mutually exclusive," she said. "Whatever criticism these clubs are getting, the basic philosophical kernel shouldn't be criticized."