Saying Goodby by Judy Lyden

Every year at two separate times we say goodbye to children leaving the Garden School. It's always a sad occasion because these wonderful children will be missed. In May, some children leave to spend summer with family or in another camp because they have outgrown us, and other places offer older children. When some children get to be the oldest, some reach out for older child mentors, and here, that's impossible.

At the end of summer, the rest of the graduating class moves off to "Big School." Parents cry, we tear up, the children look between teachers and parents not really understanding that they won't be coming back to school here or exactly what that means - for sure. They are always welcome to visit, to spend a day, but after "Big School," it's hard to come back and find much to do. They've done it all, and now it's time to reach out and do something new.

And this is what should happen. We are not supposed to stay the same. We are not supposed to stop. We are supposed to move forward. That's what we have been teaching our children from the beginning. We don't expect them to be three for years, or four, or even five for ever. When A.A. Milne says, "Now I think I'll stay six now for ever and ever," that's not about staying still, it's about engaging life to the fullest, about remembering that at six, we can look out at the world and embrace it for all it's good and never even notice the bad. And that's the way life should be.

Every time I hug a child and say, "Well, off to bigger and better things," I mean it. I expect that all our wonderful Kindergartners will do bigger and better things every single year for the rest of their lives. Should I expect less? Not a chance.

Last week, one of my beloved families with five children came to visit. The boys were big and the little girl was nearly as tall as I am. They were gracious and friendly, but they admitted that the toys and the building looked very little. "You spent a whole year here playing," I said, And the boys looked around as if they were trying to remember what it could have been like in our little building.

Every parent who cares wants something good for their child, and after their child is spoiled at the GS for all the special attention and all the "Judying up" of their time, it's hard to think what they will get in the next school, but no matter what, they are moving forward, and that's a good. They have made their mark here, and it's time to make it someplace else.

Worst scenario? A teacher you don't like? Your children will have to endure teachers they don't like right through college. It's unfortunate that some of them will have to endure a teacher they can't relate too, but this too is part of being in the bigger world, and it is something they need to think about and find a way to do their best no matter what. Parents know this and children will find it out sooner or later. The fact that they are as well behaved as they have been at the Garden School will only help them understand how to cope with what ever it is that they must face in the bigger world.

Best scenario? Our little princes and princesses, who are the very best children in the world, will all go off to big school with the confidence that they can and will be at the top of their classes, they will, and they will set the world on fire.

The Garden School is only the launching pad. The child is the rocket, and parents are the fuel.

Now! Last minute tips from grandma Judy:

Tip for parents seeking children to take reading seriously: If you want your child to read well and be interested in books, then you need to set the example and read. Turn of TV or the radio and pick up a book, and keep picking up books.

If you want your child to be honest, be honest.

If you want your child to be kind, be kind.

If you want your child to be courteous, be courteous.

If you want your child to have splendid manners, have splendid manners.

If you want your child to be courageous, be courageous.

If you want your child to be generous, be generous.

If you want your child to speak well, speak well.

Apples don't fall far from the trees. We all teach, we all set examples for young children.

Remember, parents are the PRIMARY teachers of their children. That's you.