If we could teach every child who comes through the Garden School to listen, we would accomplish every single thing we set out to do. Listening is the most important skill we teach every year.
It has been my experience that few people listen. There are lots of reasons why people don't listen, and most of them come from the angle from which people are viewing life. When you are looking at life through a hand mirror; when the preoccupation is self with the world in the background...chances are, you're not a listener.
Teaching children to listen begins with getting their attention. This is not always possible. Some children have an agenda so opposed to he who is speaking, that the listening never begins. Getting the attention of those mature enough to listen usually takes a little strategy on the part of the adult. The adult who wants children to listen will usually have something to say that children find interesting, funny or rewarding in some way. Being that adult that children listen to because they never know what to expect next, is a talent. Being that adult that children listen to because they know they are loved comes from putting the hand mirror down.
It's the same in the adult world. How often does the homilist at church hold your interest? How often does a speech hold your interest? Can you listen to long runs of music? Can you listen to a book on tape? How about a dullard who is trying to tell you a story? Can you listen to the repair guy at Lowe's while he tries to explain changing the whats it on your thingy?
When working with children the name of the listening game is short and sweet. Children will turn off the "teller" in about twenty seconds or after the first three sentences if the information is dull. Getting out the information quickly is important, but so is making the information count and that sometimes takes a little acting. Children love to laugh, and if the adult is funny, children will zone in and rivet on their entertainment. If the adult is forthright, children are apt to listen. If an adult is serious and has their respect from other times, children will listen.
Following directions is "follow-me" act on listening. "If you are five, stand up and...." Every child in the room ( ages 3-5) will stand and.... "If you have blue jeans on, sit." Not a single child moves. Seventy five percent are wearing blue jeans. When playing the old game of Telephone, the first child whispers to the second and passes it on to the third child until the time is up and the last child recites what he has heard. This is very revealing in the ability to listen. Most children say, "I don't know what I heard." It's an honest response. It's a matter of listening skills that need formation, patience and practice. It's a skill learning to be.
Having children repeat directions helps. Showing children a prototype or a how to also helps. Reminding them along the way helps as well, but nothing is foolproof until a child decides to put down the hand mirror and face the world squarely and accept his or her role, place, and responsibilities in said world. When the child is no longer focused on self, but on the wonderful sights and sounds and tastes and smells, and feel of the world he was meant to explore, he will listen as a natural means of learning. By listening, children learn that that world becomes more explainable and more interesting.
A good listener is always keen for more to listen to because it is through listening that one learns, and the best and the brightest children learn that quickly.
When listening becomes a talent and not a chore, the next step is listening through the ears with a detour through the heart. What someone says and what someone means can be two very different things. The act of listening with compassion, with humor, with correction, is an accomplishment of kings.
And it all starts with the simple act of putting self second for a short time. That's a hard task for many, and it begins in preschool. Good preschool teachers will engage children with a lofty, funny, interesting, and friendly tone of voice that says, "I love you; I care about you; you matter to me just because, and I will fight the dragon just for you."
And a good preschool teacher will know that children need to learn through listening because they can't read. So the very act of reading to them with spirit and verve is important. A dull reader will discourage listening. A lively reader with lively material will encourage listening. And a good teacher will always ask, "Are they listening or are they restless?" What's the point in reading if nobody is listening? Who's fault is that- child or adult? If you can't muster the voice to be entertaining, pass the book to someone who can. Losing the moment is worse than not reading at all. Children can get into the habit of not listening from a teacher or parent who is a terrible reader.
At the same time, right amount of repetition is important, but too much repetition is boring and will turn off the listening ears of any child. Slogans are the master of the listening world. Children learn slogans and apply rules to activities more easily if they hear the same word order again and again. "No talking in the bathroom." "Crisscross applesauce, hands in lap." "Coats off, hang them up, wash your hands..." same call every day. How many listen? Eighty percent.
Practice listening to directions is helped in directed art classes where children do this, then that, then this, then that until the thing they are trying to paint or draw is finally realized. Children who have learned to listen turn out the most wonderful art. Children who have not learned to listen make a mess. It's a curious exercise and never ceases to amuse good teachers.
Listening may begin to take over a child's learning skills at three, at four, at forty...it is an individual process and a process parents should pay very special attention to simply because good listening skills are the primary avenue of learning.
1 comment:
Great article!!
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