Getting picky children to eat is an ongoing problem that moves from one set of parents to another. Someone is always suffering from Picky Child Syndrome. And for parents experiencing it for the first time, it's a nightmare. Most parents want to know if their child will become ill from not eating. The answer is, he could if the proper nutrition evades him for long periods of time. But he won't starve to death.
Here are some of the picky eaters who have graced the Garden School:
"I eat nothing but Barbie Cereal and ice cream."
"I eat nothing but fast food cheeseburgers and fries - mostly McDonald's."
"I don't eat meat, eggs, cheese, vegetables, fruit, bread, noodles, rice or crackers."
"I don't eat anything but snack."
"My mother always rescues me and takes me to the ice cream store. All I have to do is cry and vomit first."
"I only eat food separated in bowls. A big treat is when my dad takes me out to lunch and makes me a bowl of oatmeal."
"I don't eat anything white."
"If I never ate again; it would be fine with me."
"I don't eat what doesn't have my particular archetype standard. Let me see the bag or the box first."
They are all the same...they have a definite palate that knows all four tastes very well. Just as non picky kids never know the four tastes and will tell you they are all salty or all sweet when tested, the pickies are always sure and will invariably know the difference, and they like few of them. Some of the pickies are salt lovers and some are sweet lovers - it's usually one or the other.
The pickies are not interested in discovering food, tastes, or anything concerned with eating. They mistrust new taste treat delights as much as an adult would mistrust a snake hissing from his plate. Something happened along the way to make a picky picky. Changing this picky is not going to happen for a few years - when the hint of puberty is calling and the growing amazes even the picky into the hungry desire for more calories.
So in the mean time, how do you handle the no eating, because a picky child will endeavor to escape all culinary demands that are not included in his meager diet.
First, know that there could be tears, long hours at the table, and vomit to secure the point that "I WILL NOT EAT!" So that is what parents are up against.
Second, know that the parent is the provider of food - especially the mother - so the battle is usually between mother and child.
Third, remember that food is a compromise between what a child should eat and what a child will eat.
Fourth, develop a strategy that never involves tears, long hours at the table and vomit. Life is too short and too precious to make the situation worse.
If you are determined that your child will eat, best to give him what he wants when he wants it because there are two things you can't do - make a child eat or make him poop. He's on his own with both of these things.
If you want to encourage your child out of the pickies, take the stress off. If he eats, great, if he doesn't, he will become hungry eventually. If he doesn't want his breakfast, lunch or dinner, give him five minutes to eat it, and then throw the food away. If he cries at that point, he's playing the parent for a fool.
Remember, it is up to the parent to buy food for the family. If parents want children to eat a good diet, then only buy food that is good for the child and stop buying the junk he only wants to eat. Children will avoid meals every time if the snack is available and looming in the near future.
If the parent doesn't care so long as the child eats, then the sky is the limit.
If meal time is important to parents, then the child should be offered what the rest of the family is eating. Five minutes - and throw it out - right into the garbage right in front of the child. (Had a mom do this to her husband once, and it worked; he stopped being picky!) Don't say a word. Pitch and return to the table for a lovely meal because parents deserve a stress free dinner.
If children ask for food after having their dinners pitched, the answer is anything a parent thinks appropriate. Some parents will opt to give the child a second chance on dinner with leftovers. Some parents will opt to give the child the treat he has been desiring. Some parents will simply say "No."
The whole idea with food is to neutralize the control issue. By de-stressing meals, kids will adjust to the rules and live by them, but be consistent. It can't be one thing one day and one thing another. And never feel sorry for a child who misses out on dessert, treats, or that great snack...he's setting the standards, not the parent.
And just a little FYI - many many children don't eat after 4:00 p.m. Their systems shut down, so try this: at dinner time, allow the child to have a protein like a hard boiled egg, a piece of cold sausage, peanut butter or a good piece of cheese, a fruit and veggie like half a banana or half an apple or half an orange or some dipping carrots or broccoli, and some good grain product like whole grain crackers or half a piece of bread.
The food battle is as much in the eye of the beholder as anything parents choose to make a big deal about.
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