Over the years many people have asked me, "How do I make my child a strong reader?" The answer is simple, "Read."
Children do by example, and they come to love the things that their families love, and reading is one of those things.
Reading, after all, is just another activity not unlike eating or shopping or using grammar patterns or regular life order or behaviors that set an example in the home by the adults who are supposed to be in charge.
Let's get serious: If food must be purchased while sitting in a car; if it comes with a ton of ketchup slung in the bottom of the paper bag, you can bet the green grocer is not our best friend.
When the aftermath of mall shopping allows mom to appear at the school with jello died hair wearing not much more than can be stuffed into a toothbrush holder... you can bet that children will not want to buy their clothes at a place like Land's End.
When parents speak poorly, "He ain't got no...she don't know nothin'...I was wore out...there's fourteen of 'em... children will pick up this patios and set their standard upon the standard that has been set at home. The family is the primary educator of the child.
If a child is allowed to set off fireworks past midnight by parents who think waking the elderly in the neighborhood is a hoot, you can probably expect that the children will come to think nothing of the fragility of the elderly - that that whole faction of the community simply doesn't matter.
If people who regularly inhabit or visit a home are allowed to appear and behave like the people in wanted posters in the post office...well junior is probably going to follow suit and probably won't be class valedictorian simply because apples don't fall far from the tree.
And reading books is right up there with other tastes. "I hate reading," says the strong willed parent, but my kid is going to read." Uhhhhh....no. Children may be forced to read, might even enjoy reading as a child, might even be good at it in grammar school, but apples are not in mathematical arcs flying wildly from the tree; they drop from branches close to the trunk. Parents who hate to read rear children who will also hate to read - most of the time.
The example is set by doing. Parents who turn off the TV and sit for periods of time and read are quietly setting the "reading" example for children. But that reading example, to last, must pack a serious mien. Parents who read junk will encourage children to read junk. Parents who read serious books will encourage children to read for information and for learning, and that ability to learn from what you read will keep people reading.
Now why is this so? Why does it matter what you read as long as you're reading? When people read junk, there is nothing to talk about. A boring mystery novel is just that... boring to talk about. A junk novel is just that...boring. And if there is little or no information to be passed along by reading, "so what," asks the child, "is the point?" Children are keenly aware of their time and the process of reading as being in serious conflict when the reading bug first bites.
Acquiring knowledge and maintaining that knowledge is the key to a love of reading. Adults should be able to talk to their children about what they are reading, and ask their children what the child is reading in an exchange of ideas and of purpose.
Dinner time is an excellent time to do this. Families who sit with their children and discuss the days activities and the books they are reading have the advantage of encouraging reading in the best possible ways. By arranging a dinner, a dinner hour, a table to sit and be open to a lively discussion say, "I care about you as a person, as a reader."
This more than any other thing will move the love of reading from one generation to another.
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