The Garden School Tattler

I'm posting some great pictures of one of our families on vacation.

I got an email from my daughter about comfort zones and how one thing is more comfortable than another, some places more comfortable than others, some routines - etc, and I started to think about it, shared it with E after Mass this morning, and then took it over to Molly's and presented it to her.

Expectation - what will be demanded of me, and how well will I be able to comply - will I be able to manage, and will I shine or will I just take up space? The questions are probably never asked about ordinary things, places and days, but in the back of our minds, I think people are regularly concerned about expectation, and especially children. "What will I have to do today" is a big worry with some kids. It's important that they come to school and do well at least most of the day. A pat on the back, a hug, a kind and encouraging word goes a long way. Safety counts.

Moving one peg over, what about home? What do we expect at home or from our homes? My home is a workshop. It's my workshop set up for me to experiment in any way I want - gardening inside and out, cooking, sewing, making, doing, mending, writing, searching, creating, while R&R is probably the farthest thing from my mind.

Does that necessarily mean it's comfortable for the people around me? I suppose it depends on what you think home should be, and it's a good question to ask over and over again. If home is where you relax, my home is going to make relaxers uncomfortable. I hate soft furniture. If you want to take a nap, go upstairs. I once thought to have wooden chairs and benches in the playroom but was out voted, so I have wooden chairs in my room.

And so it is with children - what are their perceived expectations about going to school and about going home? Will I be expected to eat when I go home? I had a big snack tday and it was late, and I'm not hungry, but mom will be mad if I don't eat dinner. I'm really tired, and I left out all those toys this morning, will I get in trouble if I don't pick them up? I got a blue face today, will that mean I miss TV tonight when I'm so tired from the playground games? I really don't want to go home.

Maybe the best thing to do is talk about expectations - immediate and long term. Sometimes children as well as some adults think the expectation load is so monumental at work, in public or at home, they are on the defensive just walking through the door. If that's the case, communication needs some work.

Think about it - what are your expectations and what do you think are the perceived expectations of those you live with?