Montana

Billings Gazette

Guest Opinion: Everything I need to know I learned in preschool

By MARY-LOUISE NELSON

Many years ago, Abraham Maslow asked, "How good a society does human nature permit? And how good a human nature does society permit?"

Perhaps the answers lie with 3- to 5-year-olds in the elite group I've been fortunate enough to be part of. These children buy into the main premises that rule the room: Be safe. Be kind. Be neat.

I say, drop the battle over when, where and how the Ten Commandments can be posted, and hitch your chariot to these Big Three Rules. If you are being safe, kind and neat, then you are obeying roughly seven of the commandments anyway. Most of us, worldwide, can get behind the first two of the Big Three, but the third might give us pause. As far as being neat goes, it's often a safety issue at heart, with the bonus of being a calming aesthetic.

What of citizens who choose not to be safe, kind and neat? Start with a firm restating of the rules. For example, "North Korea, you are not being safe. You can either dismantle your nukes now or we will help you." ("We" is a sort of world tribunal, with all nations as members.) Or, "Israel and Palestine, you are not being kind. Use your words with each other. I can help you. Say, 'Stop, I don't like being attacked. How can we share this territory so it works out for both of us?' "

Perspective gained in time-out

Failure to comply results in sanctions, by which I mean "go to the star bag," akin to timeout, a separate, soft, yet sparse area, like hanging out in one of the nicer parts of Wyoming, but with less dust. (I love Wyoming, one of the "We're not exactly square" states.) Being in the star bag is not terrible in and of itself, yet it provides plenty of perspective on the wonderful activities of global citizenship that one's pals are enjoying just across the room. They are making merry while you are alone with your thoughts, and soon, one of your thoughts is "rejoin the community." They miss you and could use your good ideas and energy. (Especially the energy. Right, G.W.?)

Imagine a set of socio-cultural, economic sanctions, with positive peer pressure. "We need you here if you're going to: have snacks/pet the guinea pig/dance the dance." Picture a world with doors and eyes wide open, arms extended in friendship, a stocked first-aid kit including cartoon character Band-Aids, Intensive Care lotion to soothe dry, irritated countries, and a basket of handmade quilts for use as needed. Everyone wants to be here, and we mourn the absence of even one because it's just not the same without them. There are snacks and drinks aplenty. (You're trusted to pour your own drink and to take the amount you need.)

We catch our coughs in the crooks of our elbows, and you can sit in a teacher's lap if that is what you need. Wearing gloves is a privilege, not a right. Mittens will suffice for now. If, in fact, you have sticky fingers or are trigger-happy, you'll wear mittens until you've gotten past that. (I see a mitten Parole Officer who deems you rehabilitated.)

Personal territory respected

There's lots of room for everyone, but the personal territory of each must be respected. (As the song goes, "Sometimes it's best, best, best to keep my hands to myself.") Sometimes you'll help clean up messes you didn't make, and often you will have to sit on the eagle or the hippo carpet space instead of the universally popular bunny space.

Sharing is de rigueur - for example, "USA, you have six pounds of glitter-studded homemade green play dough, while Sudan and the Congo have quantities the size of guinea-pig kibble. Hmmmm? Remember, we are kind at school."

Feel like painting three or four paintings instead of just one? Knock yourself out. We can help match up artists with patrons of the arts. If you're dramatizing Goldilocks and the Three Chicago Bruins, and a small, amiable country such as Luxembourg insinuates itself onto the stage mid-scene, don't freak. Welcome him/her and get on with things. It's called improvisation, and it's incumbent upon all of us to become proficient in its use.

Mary-Louise Nelson, a mother and preschool educator, writes from Billings.