Tips on Parenting

ContraCostaTimes.com

TOM MCMAHON: KID TIPS

Before Picking Day Care, Co Your Homework

EXHAUSTIVE STUDIES are shedding some light on the great debate about child day care. The findings not only suggest that day care is unlikely to harm a child's development, but that it can actually increase a young child's cognitive and social skills. That's good news, but there is a catch: These positive outcomes pertain only to "high quality" programs, which are extremely hard to find and often expensive.

So, what's a parent to do? First, give this issue your utmost attention, recognizing that the choice of day care facility can have potential long-term consequences for your child, either positive or negative. Shop around for a high-quality program, then get on its waiting list. Look for: a low ratio of children to caregivers, no greater than 3-to-1 for infants and 5-to-1 for toddlers; a clean and safe facility; a stimulating social and educational environment; and staff who are licensed or certified, as well as loving and nurturing.

After finding a child care provider, take the advice of the parent below who offers our first kid tip.

Preparing for day care: To eliminate, or at least reduce, fear for my 3-year-old son and heighten anticipation of his first experience at day care (I had gotten a job and had to work full time), I took him on a short visit to the center on a Friday, before he was to attend the following Monday. Very briefly, I showed him all the neat stuff he could do and all the wonderful things he could play with there. Just as he would get into one new adventure, I'd drag him on to the next.
Then I said we had to go. He almost cried. But I assured him that he could come back on Monday and spend the whole day playing with everything. When I dropped him off Monday, he almost jumped from the car, and the only person left crying because of the separation was me. -- L.H., Phoenix

Keeping mud out of cars: When picking up muddy children from their various sporting events, turn the car floor mats over so the rubber side is up. This makes cleanup much easier. Also, keep some large garbage bags in your car or van for when your children and their friends are muddy from head to toe. Either slip the bags over your car seats -- one over the top and one around or on each seat cushion (be sure not to block the seat belts) -- or ask the kids to step into the bags so their muddy bottoms and shoes are covered. -- L.C., Orinda

Adjusting to a new rule: Whenever we make a significant change in our household rules, my husband and I give our children plenty of time to adjust to the idea before implementing it. After deciding there would be no TV watching on school nights, we mentioned it several times during the summer months to get them used to the idea. When the time arrived, the transition went smoothly. -- M.A.L., Springfield, Mass.

Use your child's name: To encourage your child to listen while you read a storybook, substitute your own child's name for the character's name written in the book. -- Diane W., Alameda
'Do as I say, not as I do': Don't expect standards of behavior from your teens that you don't practice yourself: obeying the speed limit; giving priority to family time; using drugs, tobacco or alcohol; cheating or lying. For example, if you cheat on expense reports, your teens might think that it's no problem to cheat on tests. And your attitude about alcohol will probably decide theirs. -- L.S., Garland, Texas

Every parent has a favorite parenting tip. Tom. Tom McMahon is a syndicated columnist, college professor and author of the books "Kid Tips" and "Teen Tips." Visit his Web.