It’s a monster many parents regard as the nightmare which starts before we sleep and it’s called bed time. Nobody agrees on bed time -- especially children.
The best thing parents of infants can do for their young families is to put an infant child to bed early, say 7:00 p.m. If a child’s bedtime is always early -- right from the beginning, there is no adjustment later.
Getting a toddler to go to bed early after he’s been allowed to stay up late, is not only difficult, it’s impossible. Getting a three year old to suddenly and routinely go to bed at 8:00 when he has been drifting off to sleep in front of TV at 11:00 is a chore from the repertoire of Snow White’s wicked step mother.
Why put children to bed early? Because they need the sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major cause of illness, both emotional and physical. It’s a primary source of bad behavior. It helps to stunt growth because children are too tired to eat. It retards learning because children are too tired to play.
Children need at least ten hours of sleep a night. That means 7:00 to 5:00, 8:00 to 6:00, or 9:00 to 7:00. Some children need more. Few, if any, need less. Yes, children can get away with less, and learn to endure it, but sleep deprivation will show up later in a child’s poor constitution.
Question: “But if I put Sally Anne to bed at 8:00, when does Daddy get to play with her?” Answer: Daddy can play with Sally Anne when Sally Anne is up. Sally Anne’s basic health is more important here than playing with her.
Besides, mom and dad need time AWAY from children for the sake of their marriage and the sake of their own needs. It builds a much stronger and healthier home environment for Sally Anne when mom and dad can enjoy one another -- without the chaperone of children.
Even parents who use day care should not feel the guilt pinch here. If the child care arranged is good child care where children are playing and learning, then the few hours you spend with your child in the evening during the work week should be a loving cap on a successful day.
A schedule of good bed time order is important. After day care, while mom or dad is arranging dinner, children might be helping out in the kitchen -- being around the parent. This is a good time to keep the TV off. Get kids to set the table and help with other household chores if possible.
After dinner, while one parent prepares a little tea is a great time for the other parent to bathe the child and get him ready for bed. A few bubbles in the tub means I care.
Then, a cup of decaffeinated tea with lots of milk, a few special cookies, and a story read by both mom and dad will end the evening nicely. Keep the lights low, and the TV off and don't do this in the child's room.
After one really fun story, it’s time for bed. Up the stairwell, or down the hallway to Sally Anne’s room where the bed is turned down, and a favorite teddy is waiting. Kiss Sally Anne, and make good nights short.
Bed time is a routine -- not a play scheme. Putting children to bed is not the highlight of an adult’s evening. It shouldn’t be the nightmare either.
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