Don't let "reclaim" fears hold you back. It's a common belief, reinforced
by media sensationalizing, that a birth mother can come back during the child's
life and reclaim him or her. But if the adoption is legal (no fraud and no
duress), then it is irrevocable.
However, for a period of time after the birth, as set by state law, the
biological mother may decline to sign papers relinquishing parental rights to
her child, an act known as reclaim. In Washington State she has forty-eight
hours, in California, thirty days, and in some states, six months. The bottom
line? Do your research, choose a good adoption professional (who knows the red
flags), and make certain that the adoption is legal and aboveboard.
By clicking HERE, you can visit any state’s adoption laws.
Adoption is a glorious experience on the side of receiving, but it should never be taken for granted. Giving up a child is a wrenching experience. Leaving a hospital after giving birth with no infant is a real difficult thing to do.
Open Adoption:
If at all possible, consider open adoption. Open adoption--in which the
birth parents may select the adoptive family and sometimes have contact with the
child afterward--is healthier for everyone involved. The birth parents will be
satisfied that they made the correct choice, and the adoptive parents will have
access to the medical information necessary to raise their child. The level of
contact the birth parents have with the child can vary.
It may be the exchanging of photos, emails, and/or letters, or having more
direct contact, such as telephone calls, or in some cases, getting together on
occasion. For more information, see adoption.
This too is a really difficult thing for parents who come to a position of not agreeing with the birth mother. Whose child is he or she, and what say does each have. Many times there is quite an age difference between birth parents and adopted parents and what is important to one generation is not to another. The other things that make open adoption hard are religious differences, economic dependencies, and moving. When adopted parents have the opportunity to move from city to city, they leave one of the partners of an open adoption.
Things to think about.
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