Rooms and Mess

I received this news bulletin:

According to a recent survey of parents, the messy condition of their children's
rooms was a point of contention in 90 percent of households.

As for the nastiest items nestled in the mess -- well, the
attached releases provides more details, but the animal kingdom plays a
major role! In recognition of the pervasiveness of the problem.

Wow – rooms. I’ve had “rooms” for almost 34 years. There’s a lot to know about kid’s rooms, and it took nearly twenty to learn that a child’s room is his. Sometimes it is an animal that helps create the chaos, but only if a child is breeding mice in his room, or if the cat’s box is too full to use.

I hear the glass crash.

“But my child is going to learn to keep his room” – now fill in the blank. Whose room is it? “I keep a very clean house, so my child” – now fill in the blank. “But it’s my house, and he” – now fill in the blank, and the final answer is --- now whose room is it?

Order is a perception. Some people like socks folded in neat little packages that stack neatly in drawers. Some people like socks in a basket. Some like socks pinned together and hanging from a hook. But some people don’t live in your child’s room. He does.

Once a child is able to pick up his toys, mom takes on a new role: supervisor. She stops being the maid. If she takes the dictator role, she will spend most of her time treating dissention. If she takes on the whiny baby role, she will find a child who is willing to quarrel. If she takes on a live and let live role with a few rules and gentle reminders, she will find peace – eventually.

The best thing a mother can do for a child to learn to keep his room at least free of kitty litter is to leave him alone for as long a time as it takes for him to clean it. There will come a point when he will no longer begin to find things and the smell will confound him, and he will clean it up. In the interim? Close the door.

I remember back years ago when my mother’s maid refused to clean my brother’s room. He lost the toaster in there and a TV set in his dorm room. She said in a sarcastic tone, “You want his room cleaned? Rent a back hoe.”

I remember back to my oldest friend Cathy who cleaned her room every Saturday morning. She spent a lot of our play time cleaning her room. My room couldn’t be messed up because I didn’t own enough stuff to make a mess. I looked upon Cathy’s room as enviable Sunday through Friday and a misery on Saturday.

I remember boarding school and having to pass room inspection before I could go shopping on a Saturday. It was there I realized that cleaning was a matter of putting things away, and if one always put things away, the Saturday morning was a very small matter. I was fifteen. To this day, I put everything away.

Getting down to basics is not always easy for disorganized people. Cleaning means starting at the beginning with a scheme. How much is too much?

It’s too much if he has no place to put it.

Cleaning a room is a lot easier on a child if parents sort out things like clothes that don’t fit, don’t relate to the season, and if a child’s room isn’t used as a household storage bin. Kids don’t need too many clothes. It’s confusing and they will only wear their favorites anyway. How much is enough? Sensibly speaking, five pair of shorts and five shirts are enough if the laundry is done twice a week.

Buying the right things for a child to store his stuff is a big help. It’s a lot easier to put toys in colored bins with lids than on shelves, corners or in one gigantic toy box. Division of toys always makes play more organized later, and therefore a lot quicker cleanup - red for trucks, blue for electronic, green for restaurant toys.

A few little rules about play helps as well. Establishing the right place to play is important and teaches a lesson on prudence. We don’t paint on the carpet nor do we play basketball near the plants.

Legos are a toy that needs to be played with in one place. Really, it’s a table time toy, but kids love to build in front of TV. By putting a scatter rug down, and keeping all the pieces on the rug, a child learns not to drift while he learns that he can pick up the rug and empty all the little pieces quite easily back into the bin.

Clothes are also easier to care for if pjs are on a hook or under the pillow, if underwear is in one drawer and shorts in another. If you hang up shirts – even t-shirts, it’s easier for a child to see what he has to wear.

Keeping an eye on a child who drags one toy out after another and reminding him that he must put one thing away before he takes out the next thing seems almost pointless at first, but it actually works in about ten days.

Not playing with a special toy? Hang it from the ceiling with a hook and a piece of string. Not playing with a nice set of something? A big plastic bin with a lid will store that toy until it looks new again.

Cleaning up is something a four year old can do well if he is inclined to do it. To help kids begin, begin at the beginning with, “Let’s pick up only your clothes.” When the clothes are picked up, move to the next largest thing: toys. Lastly, we make the bed, open the shades and turn off the light.